An adult hit

So I got hit on yesterday! It's been a long time since I've been hit on and this was a pretty direct hit. First, allow me to indulge in the flattery for a moment. After being married for a few years and after being with the same gentleman for about 10 years, it's a confidence booster to know that there are men out there that still find you attractive. So, yes....in a sorta kinda shameless way, I liked it.

Now onto the hit... it came from out of nowhere. I was having a conversation with someone who visits our office quite often and is considered a friend of the office. He is a single gentlemen who likes to have a good time with multiple women, So, he asked me, as he always does, to set him up with some of my single friends, to which I replied "I have none." Thinking that was the end of the conversation I went about my business and then he continued to remark that if I didn't find him someone he was going to rely on me to fill the role [insert a sly smile here]. A pretty cheesy hit, but I think a hit no less.

I must admit that I was a bit confused and scared for about 25 seconds because this was the sort of thing that I was so accustomed seeing on soap operas and I wondered whether this was an adult thing that I wasn't prepared for. You know, as a child looking at soap operas with my grandmother, there was always "adult" stuff that I didn't understand. The sort of things that only adults would do - sex in the office or smack in the middle of the day, cross relationships among the same group of people, crazy pick-ups like this one. Can you imagine this setting on a soap opera (Y&R, for instance)? That scene would end up with the two parties in a very compromising position, right. So, having never been hit on in such an adult way, I thought for a second, OMG....I might actually not be ready for these adult situations and what should I say, how should I react?

I laughed! Yup, I laughed out loud until I howled. It was my instinctual reaction because I really wondered whether he had lost his mind. I don't know whether that was the adult thing to do, but it just came out. Oh well ... maybe I'm not ready to cross into the adult world of soap opera life quite yet. Funny though!

Beauty Bootcamp: Body

"I don't have time for this! I just don't have time to relax right now!" I said as I walked into the spa this afternoon. All the way there I thought, maybe I should cancel and do it another time, I can't afford this, and I just don't have 1.5 hours to waste (on me ... that is).

Well, I am happy I changed my mind. I visited one of my favorite spas - a black owned spa here in DC called Soul Day Spa. I've been patronizing there for a few years now; but I can't say that I'm a good customer because I only go once in a while. Anyway, I always have good experiences when I do visit. So, today's treatment was a Tahitian Body Scrub with Vichy Shower - fan.tas.tic! The treatment included a full (head to toe) salt scrub, wrap, vichy shower (which is, according to the spa, "a pressure point warm water massage over the entire body. While lying on a massage table, rotating shower jets rain down a constant stream of pulsating warm water"). The shower was followed by a mini-massage of a shea butter body cream. It was wonderful!

I can't believe that it's been over a year since I last had one of these treatments and now my skin is radiant and super supple. Too bad those shower heads didn't melt away fat, but that's another post! When I walked out I thought that once in a while I've got to focus on the full body (which I often neglect), by either having a body treatment or a massage. The skin in those forgotten areas needs to be exfoliated and moisturized too. I will do my best to schedule these twice a year - I'm taking baby steps.

Here are a few other tips that I've picked up from here or there:

- apply lotion/cream while your skin is still damp

- substitute shaving creme with conditioner because your hair conditioner will do the same job as the shaving creme and save you a few bucks

- Try a body polish if you don't like the body scrubs. I have both and I've found the polish to be less abrasive and less oily than the salts - but I interchange them. I found a lovely body polish at Target by Soft & Beautiful (yes, the hair products line - they now have a skin care line too)

- a little glycerin and body lotion (I like Keri) is very moisturizing

- avoid scrubbing your skin with harsh material because it may strip your skin

- pat dry your skin (facial and body)

- if you don't like shaving (legs and private areas), there are a few hair removal creams on the market that work great. Make sure to use the product made for your body part though. And, be prepared to walk around for a few minutes with cream because you can't get it wet while it's at work

- waxing MAY lessen the thickness of newly grown hair (may be a wives' tale)

If you've got other tips, please share them with us.

Beauty Bootcamp: Hair

I promised to tackle facial skin care today, but I’ve decided to address my beauty regimen in the same order that I’m getting “work” done. So, this afternoon I have a hair appointment and wanted to spend some time talking about the mystery that is our hair.

I have medium length hair that is fine and frizzes in the humidity. I have a lot of hair, but it’s really fine so when it’s straight it looks like nothing. My hair is curly/wavy and for many, many years I did not put any permanent chemicals in my hair – no color, no relaxer, nothing. If you watched RHOA last night, I have “swimmer’s hair” like Lisa Wu Hartwell - I can pretty much wash and go. That was perfect for my time in college and in law school because the upkeep was minimal. Yet, I was jealous of the ladies who got their hair “did” and looked all pretty. So, I started coloring it. My hair grows pretty fast, so the color didn’t do as much damage as I thought. I guess it was not damaging because I didn’t apply excessive heat to it on a regular basis.

When I hit about thirty I decided to put a texturizer in it. To be honest, that wasn’t so bad. I had the flexibility to wash and go, and yet, I could go straight when I wanted and I loved leaving the Dominican hair salon looking like a superstar. (I mention the Dominican Hair Salon specifically because no one else – even the very expensive salons – has ever been able to get my hair as straight as my Dominican lady. I would go there more often if the wait wasn’t so darned long.)

Anyway, about one year and half ago I decided to take the plunge and relax my hair – because I was a grown lady - And grown ladies have their hair done all the time and never wear pony tails (unless they’re working out) and there is no need to do the curly thing any more – because I’m grown!!!!

Now, I don’t have swimmer’s hair anymore. The curl is gone; when I wash it just blows up into a huge poof-ball. The only way it looks half decent anymore is when it is blown straight. I can do it by myself, but not only does it take a very long time, I end up blow drying and then flat ironing and then wrapping and all that jazz. And that brings me to this afternoon – I am going to the salon and I’m going to get some sort of conditioning treatment (deep condition or hot oil) and then I’m getting it roller set. I don’t want to use the flat iron especially since I have time today.

I need to start taking better care of my hair – because I’m a grown lady (period). And it starts here! I will share with you some tips that are stored at the left hand back corner of my brain that I rarely bring forward, as well as some tips that I’ve found during my internet travels.

Tips from the back corner of the brain (not a large arsenal at all - that's why I need help)

- Egg and mayo treatment leaves your hair naturally shiny, smooth and soft. Just mix an egg and about 1-2 tablespoons of mayo together and apply it to your hair. It’s going to be gross but it works. Leave it in for at least 15 minutes and then wash and condition as usual. Your hair will have a tremendous sheen and softness all for under $1.
- A little coconut oil in your scalp is great for shine.
- What ever happened to the hot comb?

Tips from around the net (many tips from jazma.com)

- Always do your color after your perm.
- Split ends cannot be repaired by treatments or conditioner. If you have split ends you must trim them before they continue down the hair shaft.
- Always style your hair using a wide toothed comb. The teeth should be rounded on the ends to avoid scratching the scalp.
- When you blow dry your hair before curling, blow dry it to a point where there is still a slight bit of moisture left in your hair. By not blow drying your hair completely dry before curling and styling, this will allow you use less heat for less time in order to curl your hair.
- My husband will love this one, never go to bed with your hair in rollers or pony tails because the tossing and turning during sleep with rollers or pony tails may cause the hair to pull and break.
- Use a satin pillow case to sleep.Refrain from putting your hair in pony tails because the bands (especially elastics) put too much stress on the hair.
- If you want a longer hold for your style when using a curling iron, try spraying the hair before you iron with a thermal styling spray.
- If your hair is colored and you plan to swim in chlorinated water you must protect your hair. Wear a bathing cap or thoroughly wet your hair before you go in the water and apply some conditioner and don’t rinse.
- Avoid using shampoos that will strip your hair and leave it squeaky clean.
- After shampooing your hair, press the water from your hair, first with your hands and then with a towel. Always avoid rubbing the hair at all times, as your hair is at its weakest when it is wet.
- Leave in conditioners help protect your hair from airborne pollutants, the weather and helps prevent damage from thermal styling tools.
- Mineral oils clog pores.
- Avoid overuse of products with mineral oil or petroleum. They tend to block the pores and are not readily absorbed. If your mother used Vaseline on your hair, stop.
- Do a protein treatment at least once a month.

Next week I'll tackle facial skin care.

Beauty Bootcamp: Feet

Feet – those poor old tired feet! As you saw from my post I don’t pay much attention to them. I get pedicures every other week during the summer and at least every three-to-four weeks in the winter. Other than that, I don’t really remember them other than to look down and say “gosh…they’re getting crusty!” To be fully honest, I don’t even soap them in the shower – yikes, TMI, right? I believe that the soap from my body will flow right on down and get those bad boys clean. Being totally frank again, I don’t like touching them. Did I just say that? After I get a pedicure they’re soft and pretty and I’ll touch them, but give them a few days, and I refuse. That doesn’t even make any sense, right? Not touching your own body! Strange and true! (BTW, now you know a little something about me that you probably wished you didn’t know).

So, our first week of Beauty Bootcamp focuses on feet. I’ve spent a couple days researching the do’s and don’ts and tips of the trade and I’m scheduled for a pedicure this afternoon. I go to an around-the-way nail salon, so there are no rose petals in the water; heck they barely even soak your feet – it’s a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of service. But, today I’m going to request that they spend a little more time with me (I will admit that I rather appreciate their expediency in most cases). I could also do one at home – but why?

I am walking with some peppermint oil of my own and I am going to get them to soak my feet for at least 15 minutes before starting my service. Also, I learned a while ago to limit the use of those shavers to scrape off dead skin on the heels and balls of your feet because they strip the skin and it leads to the skin growing back even thicker and harder than before. That’ll explain the crustiness, right?!

I’ve accumulated the following tips/facts and I’m going to start trying them out starting today. Hopefully you get some good tips too:

• Soak your heels in lukewarm water and use a pumice-stone to scrub off dead skin to smooth the heels or use a foot scrub after soaking the feet in lukewarm water. Smear the bottoms of feet with Vaseline petroleum jelly and put on socks just before bed. You will see a difference in the morning when you take off the socks.
• For extremely dry feet, lather on a layer of cocoa butter to each foot, slip your feet into plastic bags and pull on a pair of oversize socks. Leave on overnight while sleeping and when you awaken the next morning your feet will feel smooth, silky and soft.
• You could also heat up some coconut oil, add some wax into it and after cooling apply it onto your heels.
• Another solution for dry feet is to melt paraffin wax and mix it well with little mustard oil. Apply on the affected area of your heels. Wash it off in the morning. Do this for 10 or 15 days and see the difference.
• The secret to finding a good moisturizer for your feet is not by price; more expensive doesn't mean better. Read the ingredients and avoid products with alcohol or alcohol derivatives. Generally, lotions contain alcohol to make them absorb faster, but the alcohol hinders the product's ability to moisturize your skin. The best dry skin products tend to be creams without alcohol. These are gooier and absorb slowly, so apply them just before going to bed.
• Add a teaspoon of lemon juice for an exfoliating footbath. You can even add a few drops of lavender essential oil for relaxing footbath.
• Peppermint oil is supposed to help increase the circulation in your feet so add a teaspoon to the footbath or try a foot creme with a peppermint base.
• You can use plain warm water or add a tablespoon of any salt product including baking soda, sea salt, or Epsom salts. The salt will help soften and cleanse your feet.To keep your feet smelling good and looking fresh dust some deodorizing talcum powder onto your feet every morning.
• You need to exercise your feet. Walking is a good form of exercise for the feet.
• When you get back from a long day, soak your feet alternatively in hot and cold water. Add some salt to this water.
• If your feet are itching, then apply some lemon juice and vinegar.

• Try massaging some onion juice between the toes. This will relieve itching and athlete's foot.
• Barefoot walks help tone the muscles of your feet, keeping them young and strong. An early morning barefoot walk on cool, dewy grass is refreshing and invigorating for the entire system, not just your feet. Do walk barefoot as much as possible to help the bone structure of your feet function according to its natural shape.
• Keep your feet dry, because dampness around your feet, specifically between your toes, can be a breeding ground for bacteria.
• A good tip to keep your feet, and especially your toes, free from moisture is to use a foot powder enriched with zinc or menthol, or even both. A sprinkle a day will not only keep toes from perspiring, but also lessen odor. Beware of nail polish and acrylic nails. Nail polish and acrylic nails trap moisture, increasing the chance of fungus infecting toenails, causing the nails to thicken and turn yellow or, in severe cases, black.
• When shopping for shoes, comfort is the operative word. Ill-fitting shoes which are too tight have really high heels and pointed toes are largely responsible for the 'ill-health' of your feet. Your shoes must support the arch of your foot and also provide enough room to accommodate your toes.
• The secret to making sure shoes fit properly is to shop for them late in the day when your feet are likely most swollen. When you walk in the shoes you try on, try to avoid the soft, plush carpet found in most shoe stores. If you're in a mall, leave the shoe store and walk on the mall's tile floor. Most importantly, if shoes hurt in the store they will hurt when you get them home--a shoe should never need to be "broken in."
  

Next week we'll be working on facial skin care...see you then!

Beauty Bootcamp

I have six weeks before my job heats back up so I want to take a little time for ME during this break, so I'm taking a beauty bootcamp! This is not a real program, nor is it even a real term (I don't think), but it best describes what I want to do.

I take moderate care of my hair, but I want to deep condition it every week and fuse my split ends back together. There is no reason that my elbows are so dark, dry and crusty all at the same time. Same goes for my knees. And, let's not talk about my feet (see photo -yikes!). Although I get a pedicure every 2 weeks my heels look I've been walking barefoot in the sand and let's not even start to talk about my corns. I am 35 years old (and trying to be a grown woman) and don't know how to apply make-up.

I want a make-over and I want to start learning about beauty and various things that I can do to improve a different part of my body every week. I'm working on the fitness/health element through Better U, so now I need to pair it with the beauty element.

I'll definitely keep you posted on my journey and when I get a few tips, I'll let you know. If you're joining me at Beauty Bootcamp, let me know. Maybe there'll be enough of us to get a coach!

Finding out where you're at

I can hardly believe that this week is almost over - happy but a little surprised too.

Last week I mentioned that I had plateaued in my healthy me efforts - to be honest, I was really fed up and tired of trying. I haven't lost any weight and my body is still fat. So I decided to stop and repeat Week 5 of the Better U program. I'll end up being a week behind the Justices ... but that's okay because I really need to do this.

So, this week I have 2 handy-dandy tools for you.

1. The BMI Calculator which you can find here.

2. The Calorie Calculator - The best little tool that I have ever found - this will help you figure out how to calculate how many calories you should be in-taking based on your current weight. And the magic is finding out how much is standard for your current weight and then reducing those calories so you can lose weight. Click here for a PDF version of the tool AND all the instructions courtesy of the American Heart Association.

Hopefully I'll have good news for my 6-week check in. I'm hopeful but I'm also realistic!

Next stop, the weave shop!

Yep, I'm getting me some weave. That's right, telling it like it is. Here's why- I am having a hair mid-life crisis. I used to have long, thick, luscious hair and it seemed like the day I turned 30, it all fell out and got limp on me. My hair has not been growing, it's dry, and it's thin. Day before Mother's day, I decided I wanted to get a new, fresh look for my day. I decided to get some color and highlights and a fresh trim. The color I was going for was brown with soft honey colored highlights. I had a picture of Jessica Alba that showed exactly what I wanted. This turned out to be disaster #1. I literally spent nine hours at the salon because the lady that did my hair had probably never colored hair in her life. My hair went from strawberry red, to Burgundy red, to blond, and finally, a color that I'm not sure what to call. Blondish-red? Either way, it was the exact color of Keysha's color to the right.

Cute, but I'm not a sexy R&B singer. I'm a lawyer, law professor, mother. Hello.

After that horrible nine hour three different color experience, the "stylist" finally just put a rinse in my hair that made my color a dark chestnut brown. So much for the new look. My hair was dark brown before. Lovely.

One month and two more colors and highlights later, my hair is finally close to what I wanted. I went to another stylist and she fixed the base color and gave me my honey highlights, but they were too thick. She promised me she could fix the chunks of honey with no problem. She ended up covering them all back up and left me with maybe five honey strands on my head. Disaster #2.

I'm so fed up with my hair and since it's probably going to fall out from all this color anyway, I'm going buy me some hair, get it in the color I want, and going to have it put in my head. I'm going to have that long honey color look I was going for.

So ladies, what kind of hair do you recommend I buy??

My new lover...

I've taken a new lover ... of shoes, that is. After being a tad bit upset with my real life lover, I trekked on up to my local mall in search of a new outfit. I had no luck on the outfit side; but lots of luck in the shoe department. I stumbled on a new addition to Union Station - Shoe Woo. By the time I left, I wasn't so mad at RL lover any more.

It was fabulous and trendy and hip and young. And most importantly, there were shoes and bags everywhere. The design is not like your typical shoe store where the walls are lined with shelves of shoes. Rather, the walls were lined, and the center consoles and the tables of varying heights and there were shoes on rotating platforms...maybe even some dangling from the ceiling.

And, more impressive was the fact that they don't just sell one brand, they sell multiple brands - it was like being in shoe heaven. It's funny because it was like being in a department store, but not really. Maybe we can call it a shoe boutique! They carried Nine West, Joan & David, Anne Klein, Bandolino (and maybe a few other brands). Anyway, at this time there are only 2 locations - DC and NJ.

Shoe retailers out there listen up ... this is what we (read I) want. A variety of brands of sexy shoes, all in one place. Shoe heaven, I say, shoe heaven.

Backsliding

We're half way through the Better U program and I'm in the same position that I was in a couple weeks ago - stuck!!! I've lost about 5 pounds since I started paying attention to my health, which was the beginning of May (in all honesty, I've lost about 3 pounds since starting Better U).

But, I've reached a plateau. I intend on checking my measurements soon (I can't find a tape measure so add that to my to do/buy list) but the scale has not been good to me.

I will also confess that I haven't been as good as I should be - I've had my birthday, hubby's birthday, hosted a bbq, gone to a few bbqs, had a couple dinners with my out-of-country guest, and had wine (lots of it). So, I'm very much responsible for the plateau.

I have to kick start my regime again - walk every day, take the stairs all the time, get a real workout in at least twice a week. Also, I'm going to repeat week 5 of the program. I could simply go through the program at my current pace, but I think I'll be doing myself a great injustice. So, I am repeating week 5 - luckily, the program is flexible enough to allow you to repeat.

I'm hoping that the next six weeks are better than the first!

You must have read my mind

We are entering week 4 of the 12 week Better U program and it’s been tough … much tougher than I could have imagined. I thought that I would see instantaneous changes in my energy, body and of course, my weight. Who was I kidding though? I know the rational responses – don’t rush, keep at it; it took months to gain and will take months to lose; it’s the small changes that count … yada, yada, yada!

I am so discouraged and just about ready to quit. It’s not the response that I should have especially since I committed to myself, to the AHA and to you that I would work at it and complete the program. But, after making some lifestyle changes – eating healthier, walking way more than I have ever in my life, eating out less – I would have expected to see some success in the weight area. Heck, even if the scale wasn’t my friend, at least I would have liked to see my clothes fitting better. But no…..nothing has changed!!!! Nothing’s getting better and I can’t understand what I need to be doing differently. What the sense, I ask myself? Why bother?

Then I log in to the Better U website to complete my course for the week and what do I see – it’s the encouragement lesson. The course this week is tailored toward finding ways to encourage women to keep at it and not give up on the program or their health (were they reading my mind or something?). It’s as if they knew that folks would be having a hard time at about week 4 and crafted tips to keep you going. It’s definitely making me feel better and I will bear in mind their suggestions:
(1) build on past success – remember a time when you achieved a positive change in your life and think about what kept you motivated and remember how you felt once you achieved your goal;
(2) keep goals SMART (specific; measurable, appropriate, realistic and with a time frame);
(3) rely on your support team; and
(4) commit to making the change.

So, I’m encouraged again and I will remember those few years in my life where all I could think about was looking hot in a two piece costume for Trinidad Carnival - where I did all that I could do to reach that goal. I will think of how amazing I felt being able to wear that bikini costume with pride knowing that I was beautiful and slim and sexy (P.S. that’s not me in the picture, but that’s what the ladies look like, so you can only imagine the pressure).

Although I doubt that I will reach that weight ever again in life, I will keep in mind my goal of losing 20 pounds and take it one pound per week at a time. I will not give up and I will stop beating myself up.

If you’re having a hard time too, visit the Better U site for some tips. Honestly, the tips hit home with other aspects of my life too!

Bus chronicles

I've been taking public transportation since I started work because I no longer have free parking at my workplace (sucks!). And if you've been following me on twitter you would know how much it sucks. I've started the "Bus Chronicles" because there is ALWAYS something to write about when you're on the bus. The bus is always late, the schedule makes no sense and the people are crazy - crazy yet funny in so many ways. I'm quite often horrified at the things I hear and see. One day I'm going to write a book about these stories - I promise.

Anyway, I really dislike the bus so I decided to start walking to my car whenever possible. It goes in line with Dr. Mieres' advice of finding a way to work in physical activity into your routine - but really, for me, it gets me off the bus!

Good news: I walked on Monday and Tuesday from my office to my car which is parked 1.3 miles or 17 blocks away. It took me about 30 minutes and it sure felt much further than 1.3 miles - but I did it.

Bad news (at least for the Metro system): On Monday, I made it about 9 blocks away and the bus still hadn't come.

Worse news: Yesterday, I made it the entire way in the rain - all 17 blocks and got into my car and crossed the intersection - and not a single bus.

Moral of the story: Look around because there may be things that irk you that you might be able to translate into something to become a better u - disliking the bus has got me off my laurels and walking!

Better Tuesdays: Exercise should be fun!

As you know the mamas here will be participating in the AHA's Better U program beginning on June 1st and we are on our journey to become Better Us for a myriad of reasons. I decided about three weeks to get a bit of a jump start and I have been making little changes here and there in hopes that when I actually start the program it won't be such a shock to my body.

So, on Saturday I worked out!!!! Yes, me...I can say it with a straight face. I'm in a little bit of pain, but I did it and it felt really good. I hate working out with a passion. I've always admired those people who love to work out and can't go a day without it - I'm the opposite, the thought of actually getting off my butt and doing something is not at all appealing. But this time was a little different and I am so excited to start doing it on a regular basis.

Hubby and I went to a tennis court and did our own little routine. I know the tennis fanatics out there will balk at the thought of someone doing something other than tennis on their court, but it really worked for me. Maybe it was the padded flooring - I don't know. Anyway, we did a few laps, did some sprints, jumped rope, did some strength exercises with a medicine ball and then ran around the court with princess. It was so much fun and I didn't even really feel it - at least not until I woke up on Sunday morning!

That's what working out should be - it should be fun! Well I enjoyed it and I felt so good that I think I want to do it again today. I might be crazy - but summer is right around the corner. In fact I want to also buy a tennis racket and just run around the court - I don't care that I'm not good just as long as I'm out and moving.

Also, I've found that wearing a pedometer has been very effective. It's like I'm in competition with myself. I check it ALL the time (I might be a little obsessed) and when I see that I'm not near my target of 10,000 steps I've been getting up and doing some walking.

Wish me luck today. If you have any other suggestions for making it fun, let me know. And, check out our Better U bloggy partner Joshilyn at her her blog.

A random club observation

I celebrated my 35th birthday yesterday - yeah! The day was jammed packed with activities because hubby did a really good job of making sure that I was happy.

I feel compelled, however, to make an observation about what I saw at the club last night - and yes, I said club (you see my mommy came for a surprise visit for my birthday so I got to see my mom, mom and princess played all day and hubby and I went out on the town ... just the two of us).

So, we were the very first people in the club (and I attribute it mostly to the fact that we were just about the oldest people there). Being the first there gave us our choice of where to sit/stand, so we got a great little spot near the bar and we spent the entire night there.

I saw very attractive and mostly fly young ladies, dressed to nine coming in BUT the guys were just okay looking and okay dressed. I think the best looking guy in the place was hubby (and I'm not being partial)! Really, the guys were not good looking and they all looked like they had just rolled out of bed and came to the club.

What I found interesting as I watched the flirtation throughout the night was that every single girl in the club was extremely self-conscious. I saw each and every one (white, black, latina) fixing, and primming, and adjusting, and re-arranging constantly throughout the night. I saw the multiple trips to the bathroom to reapply lipstick and fix hair. All the while, the guys were just laying back. The women strove to perfect their looks while the guys just didn't care much about theirs. I wanted to scream - "stop fidgeting ... look at him". If guys go through the same self-consciousness as women do, they sure don't show it. Why are we so critical of ourselves? And, when does it stop? Does it ever?

Here's to 35!

I am turning the big 35 tomorrow. It seems a little surreal for me though. I'm officially crossing over into that next box - you know, I'm moving from the 25-34 box into the 35 to what, 44 box - I guess! Or is the 35-50 box - OMG!!!!!

I feel like it snuck up on me. I can remember turning 25 and I definitely remember turning 31 because that was the weekend that I finally got over my horrible bout of morning sickness and it was the birthday that my husband coined "the last birthday of not being anyone's mama". But where have the last 5 years disappeared? I got married and had a baby, switched jobs three times, gained about 25 pounds and everything else is a blur. It seems like ever since having my daughter it has really been about her.

I never wanted to be one of the mothers whose life revolved around her kids but it seems like that's exactly what I've become. And I don't know whether that's a good thing or a bad thing. It just seems to be! I have tried to stay a little fly - but c'mon though how fly can I really be when I'm 25 pounds overweight? I have tried to get my hair and nails done when I can. I have had a few facials and spa days. But in all honesty I don't think that I've done enough of those things - the things that I should be doing for myself. I've been on one girls trip and that was our trip to Dallas with the AHA. There have been no mommy-daddy vacations. I hardly shop for myself. And a night out is a dinner for three - not two.

I would like to change these things (and I've said it before) and I think that this is the perfect time. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter with all my heart and I love the person that she's becoming. I also like the place that I've reached as a mommy (and a wife). But I also believe that my daughter needs to see not a perfect mommy, but a mother who can keep it together. And I think my hubby would like to see the same too! I don't think it's healthy to be so caught up with your kids that you lose yourself in the process. I feel like I'm slipping away.

So, I guess this birthday is another turning point in my journey....and gosh, there seems to have been a lot recently. My birthday wish for this year is to "keep it together!"

Bring it back

I went to the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale as I usually do to stock up on underwear etc. I bought for the first time thigh high panty-hose - not the ones that you wear with a garter, the other ones. Anyway, I figured that I would start bringing sexy back by dressing a little more on the daring side on a regular basis. I know folks who wear these under-garments on a reg and figured so could I - I mean, why not, I'm grown! Anyway, I put them on and left for work; as I'm walking down the front stairs of my house, I fell the left one slipping a little. I don't give it much thought. As I get to work and walking up the stairs, I feel that left one slipping some more. I walk down the hall....guess what, it's at my knees. All I could do is laugh at myself - nothing more. I didn't feel embarrassed at all. In fact, I just didn't care much. I thought - oh well, not quite ready to bring sexy back - maybe I've got to start a little smaller first and make my way to sexy. I'll let you know how that goes.

Scene and Haired

I recently bought DD a new hair brush - nothing fancy, but a new one. She's been totally excited about this new brush; probably because she's learning to brush her own hair.

DD: Mommy, I'm brushing everything (as she brushes the wall).
Me: No, honey. This is a hair brush and it's only to brush hair.
DD: Okay.

A couple seconds later...she's brushing my leg:-

Me: What are you doing?
DD: I'm brushing your hair!!!!

Is she trying to tell me something:)

Painting the Town Red

I have no idea how it happened, but last week this mama went out on the town, sans kids, THREE times!! On Tuesday night, some friends and I went to Shecky's Girls Night Out for an evening of shopping, free cocktails, and a fly goodie bag. Can't beat that. It was really fun. It was nice to get dressed up and hang out with other women my age in a hip and relaxed atmosphere. Even though I could only manage one cocktail (because I'm a lightweight and because I'm nursing), it was a great outing. I even got myself a fabulous watch. When it was time to go, the rest of the gals went to a late night happy hour, but I headed home -- exhausted, but content.

On Friday hubby and I went out on a "date" to a trendy restaurant and then bar hopping! The meal was delish and we were both rejuvenated by hanging out downtown on a Friday evening, which is something we never do. It made us vow to resume our monthly date nights again. It was nice to dress up for each other - I had my hair done, wore stilettos, and everything. The only drag was rushing back home to make it in time for to relieve the babysitter. This is where overnights for the kids at Grandma's would come in handy.

Saturday night I went out with friends to see my all-time favorite artist, Mary J. Blige. By then I was feeling downright neglectful as a mom, but really and truly the kids were all pretty asleep each time I went out, but you know how the mommy guilt goes. The concert was great as usual (I've seen Mary at least 5 times before) and she looks better than ever. Robin Thicke was the opening act, and he was alright. I sung my heart out and enjoyed every minute of the show. I didn't get home until *gasp* after midnight, but hey, it's not like I sleep at night anyway. The baby makes sure of that.

I have to say that all of those outings made me feel like me again. I am officially out of the baby phase and it's time to steal some time for myself again. This Friday is Moms Night Out with my moms group. I almost want to skip it since I was out so much last week.

Almost.

This is Why I'm Hot: Love IT! Thursdays

This week's topic is on the best thing next to sliced bread, ON Demand from Comcast. Although On Demand is great for a variety of reasons, I'll focus my attention on how it will help you get your sexy back.

But first, some background. After three kids, and gaining an average of over 50lbs each on my 5'1" frame, I am determined to improve my physique and tone up. Afterall, I'm only 30 and 30 is the new 20. So I better look hot. In the past I have dabbled in yoga, Pilate's, strength training, etc. but nothing has really kept me motivated long enough to see some major results. Or maybe life just got too busy and I couldn't make it to the gym at a reasonable time. Sometimes I just got bored of what I was doing. Like when Daughter was born I started doing Windsor Pilate's. It went well for about six weeks and I did start to see some improvements. Eventually, I got bored with that and before I knew it, I was doing it about once a week and then never.

Going to the gym never works well for me either. I never manage to get there during the day and once I'm home for the evening, I usually do not like to go back out unless absolutely necessary and I'm not to the point where going to the gym is necessary. I should be but I'm not there yet . I admire those moms that get in a two hour work out while the kids are at school and still manage to have dinner on the table when everyone's hungry. That's awesome.



I suppose I could get up at 5:30, go to the gym, and return in time to help Hubby with rounding up Oldest for school. But let's keep it real, that won't happen. And yes, there is a small fitness center in our subdivision but again, this involves me leaving the house and I'm not into that after a certain time. I do take advantage of it maybe 2-3 times a month, but that's not enough. The fitness center is small and all I can really do is cardio and some of the machines, but that's boring.



Well, about six weeks ago I started doing the exercise shows On Demand. And let me tell you, I LOVE IT!!! It's like having your own personal trainer come to your home whenever you are ready to work out. And if this means you have your three kids join "the session," then so be it. Or if your workout outfit are your pjs, that's fine too.



Let me briefly stop to brief you about On Demand. And forgive me if I sound like a commercial. But On Demand is this feature on cable, kind of like Tivo I guess, where you can watch shows, movies, and a variety of different programming on just about anything, and it's "on demand." Meaning, when you want it. Push of a button and the menu pops up and there you have it. Anything from how to discipline your child to how to play the piano. Most people are aware of being able to watch movies or the repeats of some of the major network or cable shows on Demand but it offers so much more. FOR FREE. Let me repeat, Free! Gratis! Nick Jr., Noggin, and PBS Kids, are all On Demand. So when your little Dora is demanding to watch Dora (no pun intended) you have several Dora shows to choose from without having to break the bank at BlockBuster of Target to buy or rent Dora movies.



Since my focus is about fitness shows available, let me get back to that. The reason why I love the fitness shows On Demand so much is because again, I can work out when I want to, get a great workout, and vary my workouts with endless possibilities. Yoga, dancing, weight training, cardio, you name it, they got it. They even have kid friendly programs like Kids Yoga. (The kids love it.) I especially like that I can do mix and match workouts so that I can focus on whatever it is I want to focus on. For example, I can do Ten minute Bun and Thighs, follow that with Tank Top Arms (six minutes), then 13 minutes of Booty Beat and finally, a 16 minutes OneMileJog. Yes, a one mile jog incorporating all kinds of fun stuff. Then maybe the next day I'll do 35 minutes of Bellydancing for Beginners or maybe I only have time for a 15 minute Pilate's routine. Then the next day I'll do Cardio Kick Butt (this one is awesome, it incorporates Karate moves and cardio for the best bun and thigh workout you'll ever have). You get my point.




So, I have finally found a workout regime that works with me and my schedule. Better yet, I actually enjoy it and have fun (Booty Beat is lots of fun). The last time I was this into working out was in college and that was sometime in the 90s. Pathetic, I know, but better late than never. At some point, I will have a fabulous body. Okay, maybe not fabulous, but at least nicely shaped.



So try it out! You may find yourself really having time to get a quick ab workout in or better yet, combine your "classes" for a full hour of cardio, strengthening and toning.



Again, forgive me if I sound like a commercial but rest assured, I'm not getting paid for this.




I give Comcast On Demand:




5 gavels: "Love it! Can't live without it!"