The power of The Princess and the Frog

I just finished watching The Princess and the Frog with my little princess. I know I'm four months late, but I MUST post about my feelings about the movie. (BTW, I was not asked to do a review nor was I paid in any way nor received anything free. These are my thoughts and recommendations). GET YOURSELF A COPY OF THIS DVD; IN FACT, BUY TWO!!!!

At Blogalicious we got a sneak peek of the movie and I was super psyched to see it. However, I was unavailable the movie's release weekend, so hubby took princess to see it. I figured it would be a great daddy-daughter outing anyway, so I didn't sweat it. Then once the movie was scheduled for dvd release, princess asked for it. Hubby promised to get it and so did my mom in Canada. So, unbeknownst to me, hubby purchased it on Tuesday, after my mom did the same and shipped it to the States for her granddaughter.

Once I discovered that we would potentially have 2 copies of the movie, I decided that we should simply return the one bought here. As you can imagine though, once princess got wind of the purchase she had to see it immediately; as if her life depended on it. Having not seen it, I figured that copy number 2 would be a great birthday present for someone. However, after seeing it tonight, I've changed my mind and we will keep both copies - one for use and the other as a back-up and here's why:

Inspirational movie

The movie's message is so grounded and inspirational. Dream big and work hard! I loved that Tiana's dreams were centered around making something of herself and they weren't simply to get married to a prince and live happily ever after, as so many fairy tales end. I was also impressed that their challenges weren't simply solved by the prince. She was as involved in solving their problems as anyone else. Also, the music was so culturally rich and the message was so powerful that I appreciate and welcome my princess listening everyday - "I'm almost there" and "Dig a little deeper" are mantras that I hope she will live by.

Inspiring me to dream

For those of you who attended Blogalicious, you may remember one of our keynote speakers, Karen Walrond's (@chookooloonks) presentation during the Disney sponsored lunch. Her talk was entitled "The Beauty of Different" and it tied perfectly to the movie's theme. Karen gave us a glimpse into her life and walked us through how she ended up pursuing her passion and her dream of being an author/photographer/business woman. You may also remember that my emotions got the better of me during my thank you to Karen because her courage and strength to pursue her dream has touched me deeply. As I watched the movie tonight, Karen's words of encouragement echoed in the back of my mind because I actually saw through Tiana how perseverant, courageous and determined you have to be to live your dream and be truly happy. I am emotional as I write because the combination of messages is driving me to figure out how I can make my dream come true. Considering that I am struggling with this issue right now, you can only imagine how confused I am. I will figure it out!

Buying the black movie

I read somewhere that the movie did not meet Disney's revenue target and may be considered as an under-performing film. We cannot affect box office sales, but we've got to get out there and buy the dvd. It's a great film and it's the first black princess and I think it's imperative that we support this effort to show the buying power of people of color. It hurts my heart that despite the great recession, at the end of the day, Disney (and maybe others) may attribute lower revenues than expected to the fact that the princess was of color. I feel like we've got to show them (whomever that are) that we are a force in the marketplace and that they should continue to market product that specifically appeal to people of color. Please don't spend your $14.99 on Hannah Montana or the Backyardigans before spending it on The Princess and Frog!

Spring flowers of the week

SuperNanny to the rescue

This morning princess told me in a calm, unequivocally confident tone "I'm not afraid of you!"

WTH am I supposed to do with that? She's four and notwithstanding the myriad of issues that I'm already facing (and I say "I'm facing" because Daddy doesn't get down like that) I can't imagine it getting any worse.

I need SuperNanny to come to my house to straighten this chick out because I have no idea what to do and I'm pretty fed up with her constant opposition.

She's four!!!!!!

Advice???

4th Milestone in our relationship

We celebrated Princess' 4th birthday a couple weekends ago and I feel like it was a turning point in my relationship with my only child. My fairy godmother (really my fairy grandmother) wove her wand and changed the child that I've come to know.

I've previously posted about her little 'isms and the difficulties that I have had thus far in striking the right balance between being the disciplinarian and a loving mother. Often times I've felt like a complete failure because she often expressed her dislike of me. I rationalized that in my attempt to make sure that she had the structure that I did as a child that I have forgotten to have fun with her. There are times that I'm totally fine with the relationship and then there are many times that I cry myself to sleep in prayer that things will get better. How could my only child, my daughter, have so much disdain for me. What have I done? What haven't I done? I felt like I was destined to have a purely contentious relationship with her forever.

But, then things changed completely. She turned 4 and she turned into a "big kid" - she is more rational and reasonable, she is fully expressive of her reasons for things, she's more sensitive to how her behavior impacts others and she's been super loving toward me. I know it's only been 2 weeks; but if your knew what our days were like, you would triumph in this small victory too.

Here's to being a big kid! I love you Princess and I pray that our relationship continues down this path.

I've run out

Hubby and I are laying in bed at 10:30 p.m. when we hear princess' bedroom door open. Of course, she doesn't want to sleep and for the past few weeks she's been relying on the well crafted argument that she "can't go to sleep." Tonight though she thought of a new reason for her slumber difficulties - she's "run out of dreams." Hubby and I just look at each other and did everything that we could not to burst with laughter. Where does she get this stuff from???

I don't want to be late for my first day of class

Princess was all too excited to start her first day of class today...she went to sleep early last night because she didn't "want to be late for [her] first day of class". It was just too cute! She's still at the same preschool but she's moving up to the big kids class - I'm so proud of her and I'm really starting to notice that time does indeed go by fast. Happy first day of school princess - I hope you're having a great day!

A little woman

I just put princess to bed after her second wakening tonight. Usually, by this time of night (a little after 10 pm) I'm pretty annoyed by these "surprise visits". I usually take a hard stance and either scream (okay, shout a bit) or threaten to take away a toy/stuffed animal/book. But tonight was a little different.

I went up with her and sat in my glider with her on my lap and I rocked her for a while. Actually, I rocked her until I started to cry. While rocking, I pat her butt and stroked her arm and played with her hair. I was reminded that she's just a little baby! She was so vulnerable and sweet and although she is almost 4 years old and well over 3 ft tall, she's still a baby.

I tend to forget that a lot. I treat her more like a little woman - I'm usually really stern and harsh (although she really doesn't listen to me). I reason with her and I expect her to know better (ALL.THE.TIME). I've reflected on my tone with her before, wondering whether I was just too hard. Then I brushed the thought off reasoning with myself that I needed to be logical and reasonable and stern because there really is no other way that I would get her to grow up to be a rational and reasonable and strong woman, right? I have to be strong for her to be strong!

Then tonight I felt so sad because that could not be the way. It can't be the way because she's just a baby. I've got to check myself and remember that I have to find a way to teach her to be strong but I've got to do it in a way that she knows that I love her. Teaching a girl to be a strong AND loving woman is a lot more difficult than I thought. I figured that any woman could teach another to be a woman. But my tone and way with her may succeed in raising a strong woman but there is little hope that I would nurture a loving one and what success would that be?

One look was all I needed

Princess is absolutely driving me crazy right now. I am so frustrated that I want to give her back! (Nana…you better come for her soon). She’s not listening and what’s worse is that she’s being really purposeful in her actions, if not outwardly defiant. We had it out last night – she didn’t want to sit at the “adult” table, so we let her sit at her little table, then she only wanted to watch tv and not eat because “I don’t like that!”, so I turned off the tv and asked (read told) her to eat. Lo and behold instead of eating little missy decided to color – on our cream chaise. Yes. color! I was so angry with her when I glanced over her way and noticed what was going on that I literally jumped over my chair to get to her.

My response, however, was not comparable with my level of anger and I wonder whether I’m sending her the wrong message. As you can tell from my athletic moves, I was pretty angry. But, when our bodies actually got close to each other all I could do was give her a little, tiny, itsy-bitsy, wimpy slap on her hand and then send her to her room.

I am from Trinidad, where I grew up getting a few spankings (the real ones) that set me straight for life. I knew not to cross my mom, aunts and definitely not my grandmother. I probably “knew” that because I had experienced one or two “lickings” (as we call it), so that I knew that one look was enough to let me know that I was on a slippery slope. I think I turned out a pretty well adjusted and responsible woman and I am sure that my respect for authority helped in my molding.

Now, fast-forward thirty-something years and I know it’s not socially accepted to spank kids and I try my best not to. I can't yet say whether it's the right or wrong thing because that's another discussion. But, I understand that spanking is not the way to discipline a child and I accept that I need to explore alternate disciplinary methods. I have been trying those methods – time out, counting to three, taking away toys, reducing privileges. But, yet in my heart I feel like she needs to get that one good spanking that will make her appreciate and understand the alternative disciplinary methods better.

Yet, when I was called to the mat, I flaked. In retrospect, that opportunity yesterday was the perfect time for me to lay the law and get her to understand that my words should be more than enough. Clearly my intelligent side got the better of me and I refrained from releasing my wrath – and that, I am very proud of.

But, this morning I was again faced with resistance and it makes me so frustrated at the terrible twos/threes and disappointed in myself because I can’t seem to get a hold of this situation. I’ve got to figure it out – I need some suggestions please.

Self image issues at 3 years old? Updated

This morning daughter had a mini-meltdown because she couldn't wear a dress to school. Recently, more and more she has been asking to wear dresses and I realized that the other girls wear them almost every day. So, I'll let her wear a dress when the weather permits. This morning, however, the dress conversation took a completely different route because she insisted that she would not be a princess if she didn't wear a dress. THEN...she said that she wasn't beautiful because she wasn't a princess.

OMG....what am I supposed to do or tell her when I hear these comments. I tried to reassure her that she IS a princess regardless of what she wears and that she IS beautiful because beauty is not based on what you wear but the kind of person that you are. I'm not really sure whether my response made much sense to her because it may have been too high level. It shocked me that she made the dress issue a little deeper to what I would consider a self image issue. I am also amazed at the power of peer pressure of 3 year old girls!!! I cannot imagine what issues I'll be dealing with at 7 or 10 or 12 if self image is already an issue at 3.

Then I get to her class and without fail, I hear the discussion about who's in a dress and who isn't, so I could totally understand what she was going through. She wanted to go home with me. I felt/feel helpless and I don't know what to say to her to make her feel better. I guess the easy solution would be to let her wear a dress tomorrow, but there is so much more going on here.

Any suggestions and all suggestions are welcome??? I have about 4-5 hours to figure something out.

UPDATE - I let her wear a dress this morning. I'll work on the other issues a little bit at a time.

Preschool Dropout

So remember how Giggles has been going through a rough patch? For the past month or so, there has been a definite change in her behavior. She stopped wanting to go to ballet class, so we didn't make her go anymore. Then she started having potty accidents, which she never did before. She potty-trained super early (i.e. 27 months) and never looked back. Until now. And then last month, she decided that she didn't want to go to school anymore. We let her stay home a day here and a day there, and once she was at school she was totally fine and had fun. But she increasingly became more and more adamant about wanting to stay home. So we let her.

I figure she's still so young (she just turned 3) and she gave preschool a try for a good 6 months. She was doing wonderfully (writing her name, counting numbers, etc.) but I don't want to push her. After all, some kids don't go to school until Kindergarten. Maybe it was too much for her too soon. And I strongly believe that you have to know your child's personality and nuture it. But the director of the school, while supportive of our decision to keep her home, thinks that we should make her go to school because sometimes "parents have to push their babies out of the nest and let them fly." And I agree with her to a point. But I figure there's plenty of time for Giggles to her head back in the "school game." For now, she's soooo happy at home - playing to her heart's content and going for walks and entertaining her little brother - that I feel like she is flying...at her own speed.