RHOC - Who do you talk to about your marriage

Vicki and Simon’s conflict was the focus of this week’s episode and it is an important and pressing issue that I often struggle with. Who do I talk to about issues in my marriage and how much should I share? I have found that the line between support and intrusion/judgment is very fine and extremely risky.

During Tamra’s conversation with Vicki, Tamra said that she was “venting in confidence as a girlfriend” and didn’t expect Vicki to throw it back in Simon’s face. That statement hit the nail on the head because I think we quite often feel the need to talk with our friends or family members about our marriage’s downs, but what we miss is that we never talk about the ups. We all go through hills and valleys in our relationships and when you vent only during your time in the valley that (mis)shapes other people’s opinions of your partner and your relationship. What amplifies the situation is that by the time you and your partner are back on a high, your friends and family are still judging your relationship based on the information shared while you weren’t doing so well. Sometimes it’s easy to mend what’s going on within the relationship, but those negative feelings will linger for your family and friends. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m in no way suggesting not to lean on friends and family for support, but just remember that you’ve got to bring them along as you climb out of the rut as well otherwise you’ll have a Vicki-Simon situation.

Tamra made this mistake and I can’t fault Vicki for trying to support her friend. All the drama is really because there is little spoken of the good things that have occurred in Tamra’s life and her marriage and all Vicki sees in Simon is that he’s the “bad guy”. In the same manner that Tamra spoke to Vicki about her marriage woes, she should have also shared with her that she and Simon were trying to mend their issues. Does Tamra owe Vicki that conversation – I think not! But I think Tamra owes her marriage that conversation.

Thoughts?

Party Animal: Part 2

After Tech Savvy Mama's party, she put up her story on Whrrl and I totally bit her idea for the Johnson and Johnson Cause Party that I hosted the following weekend. You know what they say Leticia - imitation is the best form of flattery.

So check out my party recap on Whrrl. Enjoy!

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Party Animal: Part 1

For the last few weeks my "social calendar" (ha ha) has been filled with blog parties. In addition to getting an up close and personal look at some of the products of three respected brands, the best part has been spending QT with bloggy friends - and IRL friends - offline.

Kicking off the party circuit was the e.l.f. Cosmetics Brunch hosted by the phenomenal Tech Savvy Mama. What a great time I had! I got to see some familiar faces: Stimey; TeachMama; Thien-Kim; Smiling Mama; Linda from BabyBunching; ToddlerPlanet.; Devra from Parentopia..and I got to meet the incomparable PunditMom for the first time in person. These ladies are a riot and I can always count on having a good time when we get together. In fact, it reminded us that we need to do it more often. Holiday party anyone?




e.l.f. Cosmetics stands for eyes, lips, and face. They have 3 lines of makeup that we tried: the original e.l.f. line, e.l.f. Studio, and e.l.f. Mineral. Of course Leticia laid out a fabulous spread for us sponsored by Giant Food (including their Enjoy line of frozen desserts - yum!); Oikos Greek Yogurt provided by Stonyfield Yogurt; and a selection of organic green tea beverages provided by Steaz. Adding even more glam to the beauty brunch was my friend Katrina - a Stella & Dot independent jewelry stylist - who showcased their luxurious winter collection, which TeachMama and I spent spent an extended amount of time drooling over. We each left the brunch with a generous collection of e.l.f. makeup brushes and makeup mirror, along with a swag bag of even more goodies. Again, the morning was a real treat. And even though I'm not a huge makeup maven, I'm definitely a new fan of e.l.f.'s Eye Shadow Cream. It feels so luxurious and looks great. And it's only one dollar. Bananas.

And now for a peek at the lovely ladies...

Amy says "cheese!"




Susan shows off her fresh manicure.




Aimee's enjoying herself





Devra gets glammed up by Katrina.




There's me lining my lips




A glowing Thien-Kim poses pre-baby!

Our lovely hostess with the mostest.

Jean and Joanne smiling and sipping.

Thanks ladies - it was grand!

Temporary Escape

With all the chaos and last-minute details to take care of before Blogalicious, I'm so glad that I decided to sneak away on a girls weekend for some downtime (albeit while furiously checking and responding to messages on my phone). We've been laughing, shopping, talking and eating like crazy and tomorrow we're headed for the beach to hang out.

Just what the doctor ordered.

Missing My BFFs

It's Saturday night, Hubby's out watching The Fight, and I'm home watching the Sex In the City Movie. It's at the part where Carrie jumps out of bed to trek all the way to Miranda's place just before midnight in the snow on New Year's Eve.

It literally makes me tear up each time I watch it.

I know that, well it's just a movie, and that Carrie and her crew are in a completely different situation seeing as how they don't have any kids, but a part of me thinks it would be so amazing to have my close girlfriends all in one city. Yes, I have phone and email and the occasional trip, but it's not the same...I miss my friends. How nice would it be to be able to grab a coffee or go shopping or to a yoga class with one of my best girlfriends? Maybe I'll make more of an effort to spend QT with my BFFs - kids, job, marriage, distance and all.