Mask

The combination of scents in my house right now is stifling. I want to escape! I'm just about going crazy. Imagine a stinky basement, a broken garbage disposal and air freshener.

My basement has stunk for about a year. Why don't I just clean it, right???? Right!!!!! The problem is a little deeper than that. My fat cat got sick last year and we didn't really realize that he was sick for a couple days. So, poor kitty was basically crying for help and then started peeing in the basement. Yes, peeing! I guess we weren't paying him enough attention to realize that he was sick. So, rather than peeing in his cat box, kitty was peeing everywhere. As it turns out, he had kidney stones or some kind of urethral blockage. He got better after spending a night at the vet and us forking out a $500 check. But then .... the scent. What to do about the scent? I tried all sorts of scent removal products and techniques and nothing has worked. Some provide temporary relief, but none has permanently taken care of the problem. We got rid of our chairs and other furniture that kitty may have infected, but the scent is still here....lurking and silently driving me insane. I suggested to my husband that we get rid of the carpeting and his response was what's wrong with you - there's no scent. Are you kidding me???? Where's your sense of scent? So, I've been stuck with a scent that apparently is only in MY head.

Then my garbage disposal stopped working on Wednesday night - and of course, it would stop on the night that I made fish. The motor is apparently stuck and I've been at the bottom of the cabinet with a flashlight and a wrench trying to jimmy the motor, but with little luck. There is stuff in there; stuff that I prefer not figure out (or even think about for that matter). The only saving grace in this situation is that husband actually smells it!

So, there is the stinky basement and the rotting garbage disposal and I added insult to injury because in my infinite wisdom I sprayed a lovely air freshener through the house. In ordinary circumstances, this Pier One house freshener is divine. But I guess rather than changing the scent (which I thought it would) it has mixed with the other scents and I now have a melange of stinky scents.

I need a mask ... Just great! If you have any tips on solving either of my two problems, let me know .... please.

Beauty Bootcamp

I have six weeks before my job heats back up so I want to take a little time for ME during this break, so I'm taking a beauty bootcamp! This is not a real program, nor is it even a real term (I don't think), but it best describes what I want to do.

I take moderate care of my hair, but I want to deep condition it every week and fuse my split ends back together. There is no reason that my elbows are so dark, dry and crusty all at the same time. Same goes for my knees. And, let's not talk about my feet (see photo -yikes!). Although I get a pedicure every 2 weeks my heels look I've been walking barefoot in the sand and let's not even start to talk about my corns. I am 35 years old (and trying to be a grown woman) and don't know how to apply make-up.

I want a make-over and I want to start learning about beauty and various things that I can do to improve a different part of my body every week. I'm working on the fitness/health element through Better U, so now I need to pair it with the beauty element.

I'll definitely keep you posted on my journey and when I get a few tips, I'll let you know. If you're joining me at Beauty Bootcamp, let me know. Maybe there'll be enough of us to get a coach!

The Busy Mom's Diet

What if busy moms trying to lose weight only ate the leftover food on their kid's plate for each meal? Had that been my diet plan today I would have had:

• Half a Blueberry Nutrigrain waffle (WITH NO SYRUP MOMMY!) for breakfast and a quarter cup of OJ;
• A Dinosaur Chicken Nugget and three Baby Carrots for lunch; and
  
• Two Chicken Teriyaki meatballs, The Onions (WHY DID YOU PUT THIS ON MY PLATE MOMMY!?), and a tablespoon of yellow rice for dinner.
  

That's got to be under 1,000 calories. Weight Watchers, look out. This mama's got a foolproof diet formula in the making.

Yes, I'm kidding.