#GIT for mommy and princess

Don't shoot me because I'm pretty sure I've written this post before, but I pause every time it happens, so I must share. I took off from work a little early today (4pm to be exact) and got princess from school. It was a completely different afternoon - one that I haven't had in a long time.

First, I didn't face much traffic trying to get out of downtown DC. Usually if I have to pick her up from school I leave the office at 5pm and rush to get to her school in time. This afternoon, was a more like driving through the city on a Saturday. There were lots of cars on the road but we weren't gridlocked. When I got to school, princess asked if we could stay a little while longer because she was in the midst of playing with play dough. And, because I got there about 4:30, I had the luxury of being able to wait with her and watch her play and watch her interact with the other kids. I had an opportunity to be in her world for a few minutes without having any pressure to be anywhere or do anything.

Then we went out for dinner (I know, I know, I should've cooked but I wanted to unwind tonight). We had dinner at a local Ledo's Pizzeria and talked a little about her day and she actually asked me about mine (although she didn't really wait for an answer I appreciated her question).

By the time we got home it was 6:30 and I couldn't believe it. On a normal day, I would have still been on my way home; not usually making it in for another 15 or 20 minutes. I was amazed that we had done so much together by 6:30.

It's 9:06 and she's in bed. Because we had time to do things together tonight I think she settled in much easier than she normally would have if I was rushing in the door at 7:00.

I appreciate our time together this afternoon and I think this smile indicates that she did too.

Princess, I promise that I'm going to get it together soon to allow us to have more days like today!

The guilt and sadness of work

It's just about 10pm on President's Day Monday night and I'm very sad thinking about going to work tomorrow (almost as sad as I was when I started working after being laid off for a couple months). We've been home for the past 11 days because of the sno-pocalypse that we just endured here in the DC region; and as much as I was tired of the snow, I quickly became very accustomed being home with my family with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Because the roads were bad and most places were closed, there wasn't the pressure of doing something. It was all about hanging out with each other, watching tv and talking. Both hubby and I actually worked a lot from home, but with the ease of not having to go out there and face the stress of everyday life. I realized once again, that hubby and I make a good team and that I really like my princess. We cooked, and watched movies and shoveled snow - all together. It was a memorable time. This is what I want to be able to do with my life. I want to work from home and spend time (and I mean real time) with the people I love; not just see them for 2 hours a night and one day a weekend - there's no fairness in that; there's so much sadness in work.

4th Milestone in our relationship

We celebrated Princess' 4th birthday a couple weekends ago and I feel like it was a turning point in my relationship with my only child. My fairy godmother (really my fairy grandmother) wove her wand and changed the child that I've come to know.

I've previously posted about her little 'isms and the difficulties that I have had thus far in striking the right balance between being the disciplinarian and a loving mother. Often times I've felt like a complete failure because she often expressed her dislike of me. I rationalized that in my attempt to make sure that she had the structure that I did as a child that I have forgotten to have fun with her. There are times that I'm totally fine with the relationship and then there are many times that I cry myself to sleep in prayer that things will get better. How could my only child, my daughter, have so much disdain for me. What have I done? What haven't I done? I felt like I was destined to have a purely contentious relationship with her forever.

But, then things changed completely. She turned 4 and she turned into a "big kid" - she is more rational and reasonable, she is fully expressive of her reasons for things, she's more sensitive to how her behavior impacts others and she's been super loving toward me. I know it's only been 2 weeks; but if your knew what our days were like, you would triumph in this small victory too.

Here's to being a big kid! I love you Princess and I pray that our relationship continues down this path.

My Dining Room Set Is Here! My Dining Room Set Is Here!

Just when I thought my week couldn't get any better...