Raising a Son

I love having my one-on-one time with Oldest. When the three kids are all together, it's chaos. It's louder than a school yard playground (or it feels like it to me) and someone is always unhappy with the someone else, most of the time at least. Even if everyone is happy it seems so loud.

Anyhow, some days when I'm working from home I pick up Oldest early, when school gets out instead of sending him to after-school care. On those days, he likes to "take a rest" before we pick up everyone else and me and him chill out on the couch. I work on my computer, he watches some TV. I feel terrible that he's the only one that gets to come home but that makes me work that much faster. I get nothing done with the other two, even if I have one of them.

I digress, so this afternoon, everyone was home and it was crazy. Typical. I was thinking about some of our conversations and thought again at how much little boys are just like grown men, on their ideas of life at least. Having a son has helped me to better understand my husband. It really has. Sometimes I think, "that explains it, he just can't help it!" It's like they are born to think and do certain things, things that just don't make much sense.

During another conversation with Oldest today, my theory was confirmed once again.


ME: So, how was school?
OLDEST: Fine. (Typical male response.)
ME: Did you have your test today? How did you do? (Typical female response, ask 50 questions.)
OLDEST: No, Mrs. Teacher wasn't there. We had a sub.
ME: She wasn't there, where was she?
OLDEST (Trying not to roll his eyes at the fact that we're officially into the the 50 questions stage of our conversation): She was at the Preschool today, with the little kids.
ME: At the Preschool, why would she go there?
OLDEST: I don't know, it's not any of my business.
ME: Oh.

Hey, the kids right. What could I say? He said it so matter-of-fact. Men see things so simple. Things happen, they don't question it, they just go with the flow.

Hmph!

Girl Time

Hubby is leaving on Friday for his annual 'Boys Weekend' with friends. Each year they try to get together and go on 2 trips - a shorter long weekend trip and then a longer one somewhere tropical. They've been to Puerto Rico, Rio de Janeiro and this year they are slated to go to the Dominican Republic. Anyway, this weekend is their long weekend/basketball/dominoes/Superbowl extravaganza. I think it's great that they make time to hang out with each other and that hubby gets his "man time."

But...that leaves the girls and I at home for 4 days without Daddy's help! I'm tired just thinking about it. Especially since I'm really feeling the pregnancy fatigue (and pelvic/hip pain!) these days. It'll all be just fine, I know. I'm gonna try to plan something special for us to do on the weekend because us girls just wanna have fun too!

Fashionista

This weekend I went to the Ebony Fashion Fair show. It. Was. Awesome! The models were as tall as a building, beautiful in all shapes and colors and really worked the runway and the fashions. I enjoyed the show very much. They modeled clothes from all sorts of designers, from Carolina Herrera to Jamil Khansa. I have never been to a fashion show so this was all very new and exciting to me. There was usually a theme to go along with the different fashions which made it all the more entertaining. One of the themes that I really enjoyed was the "Vixen Professor." She went from a nerd in the day to a fabulous diva at night (gee, wonder why I enjoyed it so much?). It was funny, creative and gave me some great ideas on what to wear this spring and summer. Of course, I'll be looking for the knock offs because I don't have a budget to meet Mr. Oscar de la Renta' s needs.


If the show comes to a town near you, get some friends together and enjoy a fun night out. And don't forget, look your cutest!

Bullies in the Hood

Recently, we had an interesting situation with one of our neighbor's and I and wanted to pick your ear about it. See what you think.

Background:

When we first moved to our neighborhood Neighbor, myself, and another mom, "Lisa," used to hang out, as families or for mom's night out. Hubby just didn't like Neighbor's Hubby so we stopped hanging out at Neighbor's house. We still saw them at Lisa's but that was it for the most part. It kind of created for awkwardness in group settings but no biggie. Time passes and a new mom moves into the neighborhood, "Erin." Erin has two boys close in age to Neighbor's oldest boy so they get together all the time, even carpool to school. Erin's hubby, BTW, plays professional football and her boys are the toughest and most athletic boys I've ever meet.

The Problem:

Three weeks ago Oldest was playing outside when Neighbor's kids invited him to join them in their yard. Oldest is thrilled, he doesn't play much with kids in our 'hood since they are not really his age, the boys at least. Neighbor calls me a few minutes after Oldest arrives and invites me to a "last minute" BBQ they were having. I was home alone with the kids so I agree to join them after Youngest's was nap. Less than an hour later I'm at Neighbor's house and it's a full blown party. Erin and her family is there, Lisa's kids were there with parents on the way, and one of Neighbor's kids was having a playdate. Playdate's dad was even there. On the grill was enough chicken, hot dogs, and hamburgers to feed an army. I guessed that when Oldest went over there Neighbor felt obligated to invite me for the BBQ. No biggie, it was polite I suppose and she probably assumed I wouldn't come since I typically decline her invites for reasons stated above.

While there things seem to be going smooth except for one incident with Playdate. One of the boys called her fat and she was very upset about it, like any 8 year old girl should be. I find Oldest playing with the girls, and make sure he had no part in permanently damaging this poor girls self-esteem and causing her to have life long eating disorders. Neighbor or Erin didn't seem at all concerned. Their boys denied any name calling. Playdate's dad was too busy with Neighbor's hubby at the grill and didn't even realize what was going on. Playdate locked herself in her dad's car. It was all strange. Other than that, the kids appeared to be having a good time.

Hours later in our car, I asked Oldest if he had a good time and he tells me yes, even though Erin's boys began picking on him. ?? According to Oldest, one of Erin's boys said something pretty nasty in front of the other children. When Erin's boys arrived they said to the other children, "We hate that boy," and stared right at Oldest. After that comment, Neighbor's son refused to let Oldest play with his scooter or basketball. And, they put all the toys in the garage and closed it so Oldest couldn't play with anything else. And, they kept waiting for him to cry but Oldest "just ignored them" and went to play with the girls. As Oldest is telling me the story, my head starts spinning. Hubby asks for clarification and looks over at me with fire in his eyes, adding fuel to why Hubby doesn't like Neighbor's hubby. Oldest tells the story again. We remain calm and tell Oldest that we are proud of him for the way he acted. He didn't respond in a hurtful way or let it bother him.

So I call Neighbor, calmly explain what was just told to me, and she says she'll investigate and call me back. She would also tell Erin, who was still at her house (probably eating some of the Red Velvet cake I saw sitting on the counter). Neighbor calls back the next night and left me a quick voicemail message saying she asked her son what happened, he denied it all, and that her son always plays well with younger children. That was it. Erin never called. I left Neighbor a message thanking her for getting back to me and that was it.

I'm not disappointed with Erin because I really don't know her enough to have higher expectations. As for Neighbor, I'm disappointed.

The solution seemed pretty simple, Neighbor is officially no longer my friend. Which solves the problem of my kids ever being around hers or Erin's. But then there's Lisa. Lisa called us last week to invite everyone, plus some other families, to their home on Saturday to watch the playoff game. She left three messages about it. Everyone was invited for food and fun, including kids, who would be watching movies and eating pizza upstairs. I called Lisa and told her we couldn't go. I was bumbed because I like Lisa and I especially like the way Lisa's husband cooks. :)

But, this weekend, Lisa, Erin, Neighbor, myself and two other women are scheduled to go to dinner and a show. The tickets were purchased a month ago. I'm not the type of person that can pretend nothing is wrong so I feel like I should say something to bring closure to the situation, or something.

The Question:

Am I overreacting, being too sensitive or what? I realize my kids will face Bullies at some point of their lives but I'm not ready for it, nor do I really know how to handle it. How would you have handled it? Should I say anything or just pretend nothing happened?

Any advice much appreciated.

Sleep

Is for the weak I always say.

But boy am I weak after last weekend. Since we were away, the girls had a hard time at night since they weren't in their own beds. Each night it was a new drama. Let's see...

Friday night: I couldn't sleep because I was hot and my nose and throat were dry (chalk it up to pregnancy hormones).

Saturday night: Chatterbox took advantage of spending the entire day with Auntie Fe and her cousins and indulged on a wide assortment of random foods, including cotton candy courtesy of Chuck E. Cheese. I had forgotten to warn Aunt Fe that she has a sensitive stomach so Chatterbox had a tummy ache and was moaning and groaning all night long.

Sunday night: Giggles and Chatterbox kept having nightmares. I think Chatterbox's stemmed from sneaking into her cousins' room and watching parts of Batman Begins. Poor thing. She was visibly shaken.

And so basically I had three sleepless nights. But it's good practice I suppose. Come July I won't be sleeping at all!

Hectic

Is the word for my life today. You know how it is when you return home from being out of town - the refrigerator is empty, the luggage needs to be unpacked, clothes need to be washed, and oh yeah - I need to spend the day at WORK.

Until I can find time to post about our trip, surf on over to DC Metro Moms Blog and read my post from Friday. It's a guaranteed chuckle.

Scene and Heard

SCENE:
Our house. 7:00pm.

Hubby has just finished giving Chatterbox her bath and she runs into the kitchen in her birthday suit.

HEARD:
Me: "Ummm...What are you doing?"

Chatterbox: "Walkin' in prosperity."

Me: Falling out laughing.

Nice to know all of my harried trips to church with two toddlers in tow haven't been in vain!

Hallelujah.

ATL Shawty

We're going to Atlanta this weekend to do our first serious round of house hunting. I can't believe the time is finally here. For ages it's been "We're moving in 2008" or "We're going to start house hunting sometime in January." Well, January 2008 is here and we're off to the races. We're fortunate that SIL put us in touch with her realtor who has already been working away getting us neighborhood comps and buyer reports and all that good stuff. Now we just have to get down there and find our new house.

OUR NEW HOUSE! I can hardly contain myself. As a friend of mine said: "You'll be able to buy four houses down there for the price of one house up here. With an elevator." This is my prayer.

Ok, so I don't need an elevator. But a doggone garage would be nice.

But of course, there is the small matter of our current house. What with all the talk of our country slipping into "the big R" hubby is panicked about us selling our current house for a respectable amount. We'll have to wait, pray and see...

In the meantime, we're going to enjoy Giggles' last free flight before she turns 2 in March. After that, it's all about the roadtrips.

One more thing, it's really funny that people's first question once they find out that I'm expecting my third child is: "Are you going to go back to work?" This really never came up when I was expecting Chatterbox or Giggles. Is the implication that with three kids, working outside the home just really isn't possible? Not that I'm arguing, mind you - I would love to not have to work full-time, even now. It's just interesting that this is the question I'm getting the most.

LOVE IT! Thursdays: Christmas Toy

Now that the dust is settled, the tree is gone, the living room back to its normal state of chaos, and the girls have gotten major playing time in with their Christmas loot, I thought I'd share my favorite toy that they got from "Santa."

It's gotta be the Candyland Castle game by Hasbro!

Not only does this game bring back fond memories of my childhood and playing the original Candyland Game, but it really is fun and perfect for my girls' ages. Basically, the game comes with a castle where you drop in assorted colorful shape pieces. Each player is given a gingerbread man playing card and you take turns pulling the candycane lever to release one of the shapes. The first one to fill up their playing card with the matching shapes wins. It's not rocket science by any means, but it's been good for hours of fun during the past couple of weeks. And the great thing is that each child gets something different out of it depending on their age and skill level. For example, Giggles is content (and surprisingly good at!) matching the shapes to those on her playing card, while Chatterbox plays with multiple cards at once and, in addition to matching the shapes, she practices her colors and the shape names. It's also the perfect introduction on family board game etiquette; i.e., wait for your turn, sit down in one spot for longer than 15 seconds, etc. And it's something everyone on the family can play.

The only con: the box the game comes in doesn't serve as a storage box (the entire front is open), so it's hard to store the castle, cards, and shapes without ending up with them scattered all over the house. I need to find a containter of my own to store it in.

I give the Candyland Castle Game:

4 gavels: "Liked it. I would definitely recommend it."

What's your favorite toy?

I Hear Three Is the New Two

Baby Number 3 is on the way!

As you can imagine, I've been in an exhausted, nauseous, excited whirlwind the past few weeks. I'm almost 4 months along and with any luck, the hardest part is over (well, besides the birth, I mean). Without going into the nitty gritty details, I was on a brief period of bed rest, experienced a reaction to the high altitude while flying on a business trip, and am waiting patiently for my marginal placenta previa to resolve itself. Fortunately, according to the sono, everything is just fine.

In light of all this trouble, I've decided that it's gotta be a boy.

Where Oh Where Have the Justices Gone?

Happy New Year!

It's just been one drama after another with me and that's why I've been off of the blog for so long, but I promise to return later this week with a full report.

Thanks for the emails checking in on us. Y'all are the best.