One look was all I needed

Princess is absolutely driving me crazy right now. I am so frustrated that I want to give her back! (Nana…you better come for her soon). She’s not listening and what’s worse is that she’s being really purposeful in her actions, if not outwardly defiant. We had it out last night – she didn’t want to sit at the “adult” table, so we let her sit at her little table, then she only wanted to watch tv and not eat because “I don’t like that!”, so I turned off the tv and asked (read told) her to eat. Lo and behold instead of eating little missy decided to color – on our cream chaise. Yes. color! I was so angry with her when I glanced over her way and noticed what was going on that I literally jumped over my chair to get to her.

My response, however, was not comparable with my level of anger and I wonder whether I’m sending her the wrong message. As you can tell from my athletic moves, I was pretty angry. But, when our bodies actually got close to each other all I could do was give her a little, tiny, itsy-bitsy, wimpy slap on her hand and then send her to her room.

I am from Trinidad, where I grew up getting a few spankings (the real ones) that set me straight for life. I knew not to cross my mom, aunts and definitely not my grandmother. I probably “knew” that because I had experienced one or two “lickings” (as we call it), so that I knew that one look was enough to let me know that I was on a slippery slope. I think I turned out a pretty well adjusted and responsible woman and I am sure that my respect for authority helped in my molding.

Now, fast-forward thirty-something years and I know it’s not socially accepted to spank kids and I try my best not to. I can't yet say whether it's the right or wrong thing because that's another discussion. But, I understand that spanking is not the way to discipline a child and I accept that I need to explore alternate disciplinary methods. I have been trying those methods – time out, counting to three, taking away toys, reducing privileges. But, yet in my heart I feel like she needs to get that one good spanking that will make her appreciate and understand the alternative disciplinary methods better.

Yet, when I was called to the mat, I flaked. In retrospect, that opportunity yesterday was the perfect time for me to lay the law and get her to understand that my words should be more than enough. Clearly my intelligent side got the better of me and I refrained from releasing my wrath – and that, I am very proud of.

But, this morning I was again faced with resistance and it makes me so frustrated at the terrible twos/threes and disappointed in myself because I can’t seem to get a hold of this situation. I’ve got to figure it out – I need some suggestions please.