April 23, 2008

Role Reversal

I ended up having a bit of an identity crisis this morning. The nanny needed to take today off and, once again, Hubby was the one to step in and stay home with the girls. I feel like he's been doing that a lot lately; way more than I have. It's mostly because he has a crazy amount of sick/vacation time that he can use, while I have barely any. Actually, I have 180 hours to be exact and I need to save it for maternity leave (which is a whole 'nother story). Anyway, just last Friday Hubby took Giggles to her 2-year doctor's appointment, and a couple of days before that he came home early to meet a contractor who needed to come to our house. On Monday of this week, he was the one home to meet the Peapod delivery man and unload the groceries (that I was too beat to shop for over the weekend). All in all, it seems like he is doing a lot of what I feel that I should be doing, as old-fashioned as it sounds. Of course, I consider us fortunate that he has the flexibility to adjust his schedule as we need it, and I'm glad that he is happy to do it, but still...as he dressed Giggles this morning and they went off to run errands together (I dropped Chatterbox at school), I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness in my chest that, well, Mommy should have been the one to hang out with the kiddies today.
Or is Mommy becoming obsolete?


A Shorter Mama said...

Nope, mommy is NEVER obsolete. mommy is just pregnant and tired and needs the break:) Don't be hard on yourself, and enjoy that Peapod delivery. I got mine last week because I too didn't have time to shop. Just give hubby an extra kiss and remember even when you aren't "doing" stuff for the family right now, you are growing the family's newest addition. That's enough to make it okay for you to NOT LIFT A FINGER! HA!

Justice Ny said...

Oh Fergie...don't be sad. There were times when you carried the load (so to speak) and there will be times that he will.

A good friend of mine, whose parents have been married for almost forty years (a feat in itself in this day and age), told me that she learned from her parents that equality in a marriage does not mean that both partners are equal at every single moment in time. It means that there will be times (days, weeks, months, maybe even years) that one spouse will carry more weight than the other and then the weight will shift to the other spouse. To look for equality in everything you do and everyday you are is a mistake because it will never be - and it will only make you unhappy, sad, depressed etc.

To the point at hand, in a couple months you'll be taking over more of the responsibility of home and kids and you'll be the one home doing all those things. So enjoy the time that he's picking up the slack with the home stuff now and look forward to the times that you'll being it.

Justice Fergie said...

aw thanks guys. what nice comments. and j. ny - you are certainly right. i suspect that i will have my fill of "home" in just 3 short months :)

3XMom said...

I feel EXACTLY the same way. Work has been crazy crazy recently - and when the kiddos have been sick, its all been on DH. Oh well..i figure it balances out eventually, right?

Kim Moldofsky said...

You will never be obsolete!

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