August 21, 2007

Guilt-Ridden

Consider this Working Mom Against Guilt Monday...

(1)
Tela at WMAG wrote an interesting post on the following topic that is worth reading.

Did you hear about the New York City's public hospital system announcement that it will no longer supply new mothers with free formula samples in the gift bags it gives moms to take home with them?

"Instead, the new mothers will each be given a breast-milk bottle cooler, disposable nursing pads, breastfeeding tips and a baby T-shirt with the slogan “I Eat at Mom’s” emblazoned on the front. Breastfeeding coaches will accompany the mothers at bedside “to help initiate breastfeeding within one hour of delivery.” The hospital agency will also give out free breast pumps and make available hospital-grade electric breast pumps to mothers whose newborns have to remain in the hospital." Read the NY Times article
here.

I think it's brillant. And long overdue.

(2) In her latest post,
Susan at WMAG asks what have you compromised since you became a working mother? And what do you refuse to compromise?

What thought-provoking questions. Something of rare occurrence around here.


I think that I've definitely compromised "me" time. But then hasn't every mom? Whether a WOHM or not? My weekdays consist of getting up, getting dressed, getting the girls up and their milk, commuting in traffic, spending the day at work, commuting in traffic, making dinner, cleaning up, bathing the girls and putting them to bed. My "me" time consists of the hour between 9pm and 10pm when I get to watch one of my trash tv shows and/or check my personal email. On the weekends my days consist of spending every possible moment having quality time with the girls, running errands that I didn't have time for during the week, and cleaning the house. Once a month, though, I try to attend my Moms Night Out so that I can at least socialize with my peers for a few hours every few weeks. But whereas I used to always have my hair done, my nails done, wear fashionable clothing and read magazines, I have time for none of those things anymore. In fact, I had to take the day off of work yesterday just to run errands and get my hair done (yes, desperate measures. but it hasn't been done in a really long time).

And compromising "me" time means that I've also compromised "us" time with my hubby. We used to be avid movie buffs and I can't tell you the last time we saw a movie. Actually, yes I can. It was "Daddy's Little Girls" back in February, when we both left work early to catch a movie. We also love entertaining and what with naptimes, bedtimes, and a lack of babysitting options, our BBQs and cocktail parties have come to a screeching halt. Lastly, we love traveling too. Suffice it to say that we have been on one vacation by ourselves since 2004.

Of course there are other small compromises, like personal space, sleeping-in, extra cash to spend on frivolities, time to read (adult) books, getting to work early so that I can be home early, etc., but I would say that the biggest compromise is the "me" time.

So what do I refuse to compromise? Honestly, I've been sitting here racking my brain for something but I can't think of anything at the moment. Could it be that I've compromised almost everything?

And here is where I'll insert the line about how these compromises are a small price to pay for having these two precious little beings in my life.

Because I am a working mother combatting guilt, after all.

5 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I was hospitalized for a week when my baby was four months old. At one point, I ran out of storage bottles for the milk I was pumping there. I asked a nurse if I could get something to store my milk in, and she grabbed several bottles of "free" formula, dumped them in the sink, and gave me the bottles to use.

Susan said...

Here's another one I can add to the list: going out to restaurants. We used to do this all the time, but Cassie is just too unpredictable so we rarely go now. But I still try to hit one at lunch when I get the chance!

Susan at Working Moms Against Guilt

Minivan mom said...

I refuse to compromise my sense of identity that is distinct from my role as mother. Of course a huge part of my identity IS now motherhood...but I refuse to forget or relinquish the feminist, activist, passionate, thinking, engaged-in-the-world part of myself that was so important to me prior to 2000 when I had my oldest. Even if she is now a lot more tired and sometimes weakly waves that flag instead of pumping it with vigor.

I would venture to guess that a lot of working mothers feel the same way.

J said...

Your weekly schedule sounds so much like mine. I def compromise ME time. Time to exercise, read a book or just be with myself. You do have find a way to manage that time you do have to play all of your roles - mom, wife, employee, maid. Its tough but I try to give a as much as I can to each role so that I don't compromise as much.

Mommy Dearest said...

RIP "Me Time." I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm just thankful I don't have the commute or the traffic to contend with. Though sometimes it seems like the few minutes I get alone to myself in my car are the only precious alone moments I get :) I'd add one more thing to your list: Being able to go to the bathroom without someone pounding on the door saying "Mommy, what are doing?" or "Mommy, sissy hit me."

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