February 28, 2007

Yeah, Sure.

So I'm looking up day care centers because it's time for Daughter and B to "socialize" and leave the "nest." Especially Daugther, she's almost 2 and half. This is the schedule I got from one of the centers. Makes it sound like a day with a baby is all peachy and rosey, doesn't it?

Tah! They are not fooling anyone, especially me. And if they think that my son will "cuddle into his personal crib," at nap time, they are really in for it. This is the boy who does not sleep, hates his crib with a passion, and will not fall asleep unless you physically put him to sleep.

An infant’s day
7:20 a.m. — After checking your son in at the front desk, you find his favorite caretaker — who has a new toy to share.
8:15 a.m. — Your son shakes a rattle and holds a plush toy while he practices grasping, pinching and holding during special “small muscle development” activities.
9:00 a.m. — Now it’s time to exercise large muscles by crawling, cruising, rolling and rocking.
9:50 a.m. — Removing your bottle from the warming device, your son’s caretaker prepares to feed him a morning snack while other infants nap or play.
10:35 a.m. — Feeding time is through and your son’s eyes are getting heavy. He cuddles into his personal crib.
11:40 a.m. — It’s a perfect day for the playground. Your son giggles as the breeze ruffles his hair.
12:25 p.m. — Sharing stories and reading books develops early literacy and phonics skills. Your son listens raptly to “Goodnight Moon.”
1:30 p.m. — Time with soft feathers, hard blocks and squishy toys deepens his understanding of the world.
2:20 p.m. — Pursing lips and grasping for a bottle, it’s time for his afternoon feeding, then a restful snooze.
3:40 p.m. — Your son’s teacher helps him bop and sway with the other children during Music and Movement Time!
4:45 p.m. — You open the classroom door and see your son investigating his face in a wall mirror. Time to pack up — the end to another fun day at Day Care.


Justice Fergie said...

I didn't even get to "8:15am" before I started laughing.

I guess they have to make it sound good. Otherwise, it wouldn't be very good for business if their schedule said:

"7am - 5pm: Let children run wild. Feed. Attempt to have them Nap. Keep sharp items out of their mouth."

I also like the "10:35am" and such timeframes. As IF any child is going to do what you want them to at exactly 10:35am. And if they do, I wanna be there to see it :-)

Justice Jones said...

Exactly. I think this was written for new moms. Cute.

~**Dawn**~ said...

ha. they aren't fooling a former daycare provider either. =P

the director ince suggested i make a lesson plan for my day. i looked her in shock. the woman had never worked a second in the infant room. she had no idea we were often lucky to survive a day with a shred of sanity remaining. a 4:1 infant:teacher ratio is very often a cruel joke.

Diane said...

Um, yeah, as if anyone's day is like that!

Anonymous said...

I AM DYING!! Aidan and Myles attend one of the BEST daycares and when it's time for me to pick them up, I ALWAYS see a "runner"! Too funny!

Selfmademom said...

And then they came out with these Child Care standings today! Ugh...

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