February 13, 2007

Next time I won't be so nice


It never stops to amaze me how much people are amazed themselves about how many children I have. Yes, I have three children. Is that so odd? Is that so incredible? What is so strange about having three children???? Emphasis on the ???? because when I'm out and about with my babies, people literally stop and stare and some even ask stupid questions. For example, "Oh my!! Three kids! Did you want three?" Who would ask such a question you say? In front of my five year old? Only an idiot. But it happens a lot. Especially if I'm at the grocery store and I'm using one of those extended shopping carts that seats 4 kids. If you have only 2 kids, you probably never even knew such a shopping cart existed (unless I live in your neighborhood) but yes, there's a shopping cart that seats up to FOUR kids. Who knew.

But, what really eats me up inside are the people with no manners, who look at me and think I'm must just a teenage mother with a bunch of bebes so they think they can ask me anything they want. My favorite question, "How old are you?" I used to smile and be polite but really, I'm sick of being polite to people who are not polite to me. So my answer to that is, "old enough to have three children." Or, "You do not look old enough to have three kids." That's not a questions but more of a comment on their opinion of my life.

Yes, I do look very young but I am not and even if I was, I find such comments questioning my age and ability to have three children none of anyone's business. I have noticed that if my hair is not done, and I have no make up, am wearing jeans, etc., I get more comments and stares. And no, I'm not paranoid, it really does happen. For example, a few weeks ago I was at the library prepping for the class I teach and I suppose they were having teen night or something in the rec room. Not one, but three librarians thought I was a teen. Two stopped me to ask me if I had signed up for teen night. So I say no and do not bother to explain why because I'm used to it. But one needed to know why not and explained to me the activities and I responded, "I left my teen years 11 years ago" and she laughs and comments how lucky I am to look so young. Yes, I suppose. It could be worse. And after teen night, a third librarian came up to me and asked if I had called my parent or "someone over 18" to pick me up because the library was closing in 30 minutes. Laugh if you want, it's annoying.

But back to the part where people are judging me for being a "young mom." I hope everyone out there in blog world is more careful next time they see a young mother who probably is already having a rough time trying to adjust to motherhood or, just trying to make it day to day with her kid(s). Like me. Three kids five and under is a lot, even for an "older lady" like myself. This is not easy and I really don't need a friendly reminder right when I'm in the midst of chaos. But, if I really was only 18 or 21, or however old they think I am, imagine how a comment like, "you are too young" would make that mother feel? I think most teen moms are having a hard enough time already. They don't need perfect strangers judging them.

4 comments:

Justice Fergie said...

You make a very good point. Aside from people's comments being annoying to you, they could very well be offensive to a young(er) mom.

Strangers say the darndest things, don't they? I can't believe you got asked if you wanted all three. You should have said "no" purely for the sake of shock value :-)

And next time, don't be so nice!

MamaLee said...

HI there - first time reader. I, too, have 3 kids 5 and under, and I get looks and comments as well. I do look younger than my age (40), but ti shouldn't matter HOW old you are.

People should just mind their own business and stop being so RUDE!

And next time you should say, "well thank goodness they each have a different father, because I really need those extra hands to help me at times!"

Justice Fergie said...

love that mamalee!!

Justice Jones said...

Mamalee, that's an ingenious suggestion! I love it, I think I will say it. Why not? Now, I'm kind of excited to go out in public and make a spectacle of ourselves just in anticipation of a comment. Thanks!

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