December 11, 2006

In Need of Counsel...

Is it just me or is it virtually impossible to get out of the house on weekday mornings without feeling harried, frustrated, exhausted and just generally pissed off? Some days are better than others of course but for the most part, the mornings are a marathon of chaos. Making milk cups and bottles; washing faces; changing diapers; overseeing potty use; figuring out the weather; choosing the appropriate outfits; dressing; brushing teeth; fixing hair; finding matching socks; locating stray shoes; finding clean bibs (there is a neverending cycle of bibs being washed in my house, it's unreal); "making" breakfast (it wouldn't even be right to mislead you into thinking that I make things like bluberry pancakes or made-to-order omelets during the week - more like cheerios and milk or an Eggo); remembering to give vitamins; making sure the daycare bag is packed with the necessary lunch and snack items, sheets, diapers, and of course extra bibs... ALL IN ADDITION TO GETTING YOURSELF DRESSED! And...rushing around, looking for cell phones, the envelope that "was supposed to go in the mail today," taking an appetizer for the potluck party at work (I can't even tell you what I brought today, I'm ashamed) loading up the car, getting the girls in the carseats, all while being tormented with myriad high-pitched, repetitive requests for "malamalas" [DD's word for "banana"] which you cannot, in good conscience, grant since the malamalas are nowhere close to being ripe. It's madness, I'm telling you. What can I do?? I know the standard advice:

"Have DH help you"
Problem: None. He does help. Really. We're both running in circles.

"Put out the outfits for the next day the night before"
Problem: By the time the next day arrives, the outfits will have been strewn all across the room during DD's destruction frenzy as she falls asleep. [Note: this is why she showed up with DH to the Mocha Holiday Party on Saturday with a red sweater and pink checkered socks on. Even though, before leaving early to setup the party, I put out her outfit out, including the matching red socks, before her nap. She managed to lose them within the hour. DH never stood a chance at getting her dressed.] Thank goodness for the extra-long pants (3T).

"Pack the daycare bag the night before"
Problem: For the most part, I do. But I still have to prepare milk cups/juice cups/bottles and breakfast in the morning. And it's not like I don't have a gazillion things to do the night before.

"Put the kids to sleep in their clothes."
Problem: No way. I can't get with that. I'd rather be late.

"Wake up earlier!"
Problem: Shut Up.

And so, when I finally got in my car this morning [after changing my sweater 3 times to conceal the spare tire; TRIPPING OVER THE *%@! CHRISTMAS TREE - still in the wrap on the floor b/c we have not had the chance to put it up - THAT YOU WRETCHES ENCOURAGED ME TO BUY; putting the bag of trash around the side of the house in the cans; balancing my purse, cereal, keys, party food, water bottle and arming the house alarm, while wearing gloves] I turned on the car, turned on the heater and realized my gas tank was below "E"

...because I rushed home from running errands last night without filling up so that I would have ample time to do things like make dinner, pack the daycare bag and do a load of bibs so that my Monday morning would go smoothly.

I think I'm going malamalas.


Justice Jones said...

I'm exhausted just reading this. It reminds me of getting ready for church. It normally takes 1.5 hours from start to finish. By he time we're done. I'm ready for a nap. On good days, we can be out in one hour. It seems you answered most of your own questions but I will restate them just to humor you. These helpful tips work for us.

1) Yes, do the bag the night before. You can even do the cups/bottles the night before, stick them in the fridge, then when you leave, stuff them in the bag.

2) Yes, put the clothes out the night before and do not let DD toss them all over the room. If so, she must have consequences. (Don't you watch Supernanny??). If the consequences do not work, lay out the clothes, shoes, socks, bibs in their bathroom. This way, she can't throw them around.

3) Do not lose sleep about feeding Eggos, instant oatmeal, cereal, etc. If so, just keep some fresh fruit around and offer it with the cereal. This should make you feel a lot better. It works for me at least :) Strawberries, bananas, and blueberries are very good/nutrtious fruits.

4) Relax and breath! It will all be okay.

5) Do not sweat the small stuff. If not everything gets done, it's okay. Sometimes I don't have time to do Cydney's hair. Instead, I spray water on it, rub a little grease in it and put a headband on her. (BTW- keep some really cute headbands in stock at all times. They are life savers for crazy mornings). I seem to get more compliments when she's rocking her fro anyhow. It makes her look like a Gap baby. (Why can't you do links when you respond to a post?? It drives me nuts. Anyhow go to and vote for the new gap baby.) Last, who cares if the socks don't match. I used to care, now I dont' even have the energy. I'm just thankful that someone dressed one of them for me.

6) Last but not least. Relax and breath! You are going to age your self!

Justice Fergie said...

Thanks for the tips! I shall take a deep breath.

It's 8:49pm and the daycare bag is done. Both children are in bed and all is well in the world again.

The tree is now in its stand. Do I get points for it at least being upright? Decorations will go on tomorrow. Promise.

I hate that you can't put links or pics in a comment too!

Justice Fergie said...

I forgot to ask: how do you get DH motivated to go to church? Aside from the deeper issues, at a surface level, getting my DH to go to church when 1.5 hours of prep time is involved is a losing battle.

Justice Ny said...

Sorry to bring it back to the tree,but congratulations to you both on making progress. Kudos to J. Jones...the day after Thanksgiving - that's more than great! And, J. Fergie, I give you props for getting your tree up of the floor.

I'm at home with one child and we have no tree. I can't blame it on DH this time. I haven't had the energy to get one or even decorate it and you know that I LOVE Christmas. I promise to do better. I'm hoping to get the job done by Wednesday.

Justice Fergie said...

Well, every guy has his vice - whether it be Jaguar games (J. Jones); a sports league (me); or beer (J. Ny - hahaha, just kidding?). We just have to learn to deal with it and they have to learn to prioritize. It was getting to the point that when I heard the words "joeferg sports" I automatically rolled my eyes and tuned out. J. Jones, all I can say is: at least football season is almost over!!

Justice Jones said...


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