February 22, 2009

Thirteen Minutes Before I'm Cut Off

I've been sitting here at Panera for several hours, catching up on emails, work, blogging, Facebook (okay, not really FB see below), and some much needed me time. My battery now has 11 minutes of juice left before my laptop dies. This means that in 11 minutes my me time will probably have to end because I have accomplished all that I wanted to and really, there's nothing pressing that I have to do.

Today the weather was really beautiful and I took the entire day for myself. It was this or else I wouldn't even want to be around me. I really enjoyed my me time. Much needed. We all need it, but we never take it, or at least not enough.

I've been sitting here people watching and working. I've seen all kinds of people. Students studying, doing group work, hanging out, whatever. Folks catching a quick bite to eat or taking a break from shopping. I also saw many couples and families come and go. I watched as a young mom worryied over her young infant that looked a few weeks old. You could tell nothing else mattered to her except for making sure her baby's milk was warm. She made me think back to my family when we were just three. As a new mom you worry about everything. You are so caught up in the moment. Life seemed so hard, but in hindsight, I can't help thinking how easy just having one child was. A family of five is really hard. Paying for tuition times three is really hard. Getting us all ready for church is really hard. Making sure the (one) baby had a good burp before I put him back in his infant carrier, not so hard. Hoping my food isn't cold when I finally could eat, not so hard.

As I saw bigger families come and go, I couldn't help but chuckle. Either things went smooth or they didn't. You know how it goes. Made me wonder about what my kids were doing at home. Whether the kids were giving Hubby a run for his money, what they ate for lunch, what he planned on doing for dinner (whether he would call me to ask me what the plan was for dinner), how today would have been a great day to go fishing. I started to feel guilty, for a moment. Shouldn't I be home, taking part in the beautiful day with my family? Probably. Maybe? Maybe not? No, I wasn't going home.

But that time is over, I'm down to my last few seconds. My battery light is flashing.....BYE!

9 comments:

Justice Fergie said...

i love this post. so true. so true. i often want to laugh when i hear ppl complain about how hard life is with 1 kid. they have nooo idea how easy they've got it. i guess it's the classic "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone" scenario. I'm glad you took time for you! Mr. Guilt will always be on standby waiting to take over, but you GOTTA take time for yourself. For them and for you. And now MY battery is about to die!

Justice Ny said...

I'm one of those who complains and I've only got one - yes...I know how dare I complain? I ask myself the same question ladies; believe me I do. I really don't know how you do it and I think you deserve a medal.

As I write this post I realize that I sometimes conveniently rest my exhaustion and stress on baby - but it's not baby, it's really everything else. I find commonality in resting these issues on baby probably because I know that there are so many others that can understand that stress - but it's really work, marriage, self-image, identity etc.

So, I promise to no longer rest it all on my ONE and maybe truly identify what's exhausting me and place the burden on those things and not one my beautiful baby!!!

gosh..I've digressed off topic so much:)

Tanyetta said...

Sweet post. I love how you were worried about the kids and husband at home but, stayed put. That's what I always have to tell myself to do. Just relax, enjoy the ME time, they'll be alright.

The best part about it, they can manage :)

p.s. I just realized we're going to be a party of five as well.

HOLD ME.

Elaine at Lipstickdaily said...

You know what . . . for me having the first baby WAS the hardest. Completely exhausted all the time, everything was new, had to figure out from scratch how to do everything, the damn baby couldn't TELL me what he wanted! I only have 2 (fabulous kids) now, but it's way easier! I wouldn't want to me a first time mom every again!

pam said...

How nice for you to get a chance to recharge your batteries. I think it makes us all a little bit better when we get a moment to ourselves.

Thanks for stopping by, and nice to meet you!!

Sheliza said...

This is great and I relate 100%. I too have a family of 5 and it is hard! I remember the days of only one child and I was that mom that was worried about my baby's milk being warm. Now I have 500 things going at once but I manage it all pretty well. I really enjoyed this post and I am adding this link so I can follow this blog :) I never remember how to get to you all so I am adding you now....

Peter and Nancy said...

Good for you! A day of peace . . .

I had a much harder time with the very first adjustment to #1, but now I look back at those days when we just popped him in the carseat and plopped him right near us at a restaurant . . . sigh. Oh well -- we must be crazy, or gluttons for punishment, because we're thinking about #4. :o)
-- Nancy

Peter and Nancy said...

P.S. I love your blog makeover!

MBB Founder and Editor Denene Millner said...

LOL!!!! I LOVE the "let them figure it out" part of this... we all should take a step back and recharge OUR batteries every once in a while... they WILL figure it out--and live (in most cases). LOL!

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