*UPDATED* Why There Are No Reality Shows About Regular Families with Kids...

Act I: Scene 1

[Mommy arrives home from work and walks through the door @ 6:35pm]

Children: [calm and happy] "Hi Momeeee!" They run/crawl to Mommy and overwhelm her with bear hugs.

Mommy: Hi girls! How was your day?

Hubby: "Hi Dear [smooch]- how was your day? Let me take your coat for you since you have your hands full [with a purse, lunchbag, housekeys, and the mail]"

Mommy: "Hi there! My day was good. A little bit frustrating towards the end, but good. I'll fill you in later."

Hubby: "Ok. It's a date. Oh, by the way, since I've been home since FOUR-THIRTY P.M., I fed the girls dinner and gave them a bath."

Mommy: "Really? That's great! Thanks."

[Family retires to the family room, plays together, the girls go to sleep and Hubby and Mommy spend some quality time together and get a good night's sleep]

End Scene.


Ok, let me stop playing and tell you how it really went.

Act I: Scene 1

[Mommy arrives home from work and walks through the door @ 6:35pm]

Children: [with the look of wild banshees in their eyes] "Hi Momeeee!" They run/speed crawl to Mommy, jump on her and Oldest screams "MOMMY! I WAN' FWOOT NYACKS! ORANGES?" Youngest wails to be picked up.

Mommy: Hi girls! How was your day? [Juggling purse, lunchbag, housekeys, and the mail and her two offspring while trying to remove her coat]

Hubby: Sitting on the couch, on the phone, tv blaring, sitting in a pool of Wheat Thin cracker and cheddar rice cake crumbs. "Hey!"

Mommy: [Realizes that this means Oldest's dinner appetite is ruined but opts to hold her tongue for the greater good.] "Hey!"

Hubby: Passes the phone to Mommy. "Here, SIL wants to ask you a question."

Mommy: "Ok." Carrying Youngest in one arm and tripping over Oldest who is clinging to her leg screaming "PIE! MOMMY! I WAN' PIE?" catches phone tossed by Hubby and collapses onto couch. Then realizes that sitting down is not an option seeing as how the kids need to eat, bathe and get to sleep in 45mins. , gets up.

Hubby: Mouths incomprehensible sentence to Mommy and retreats to the office and gets on the phone.

Mommy: Throws pot on stove to make quick mashed potatoes while having to put a wailing and exhausted Youngest on the floor, trying to hold the phone to her ear with her shoulder and give legal advice to SIL regarding an acquaintance's landlord/tenant issue, and trying to prevent Oldest from climbing in the [cold] oven to get to Hubby's pie. In the process, Mommy burns her wrist with the hot milk in the potatoes and throws her body in front of the stove to head off Oldest who is now trying to touch the hot eye on the stove. She rattles off what she vaguely remembers from her law school Real Property course and tells SIL she'll call her back. She finally gets Oldest's dinner ready, makes sure she says Grace with her, and rushes to the bathroom to bathe Youngest so that she can get put to bed.

Oldest: "MOMMY! I WAN' BATH!" Runs to the bathroom with dinner plate and cup of water in hand.

Mommy: While undressing Youngest. "Please take your dinner back to the kitchen. You can have a bath once you're done eating."

Oldest: Dumps bucket of bathwater on Mommy. Starts running at top speed to the family room with her food, laughing hysterically. Then slips, falls and strews her dinner all over the hallway.

Hubby: Cracks open office door. "What's going on out here? Can you turn the bathwater off? I'm on a business call. Why are your pants wet?" Closes door.

Oldest: Runs to her room because she senses that peas smashed into ceramic tile grout can't be good.

Youngest: Screaming and trying to climb into the bathtub.

Mommy: At her wit's end. Realizes she has been holding her pee since she left the office two hours ago.

End Scene.


*Wouldn't you know that God sent a little angel (named Shannon) to help through this rough week that I'm having? This was totally what I needed to hear. He's always on time, isn't He?