December 14, 2006

Dicta...


This is a pic of my commute taken with my handy dandy cameraphone this morning. It's a wonder I made it in to work today! There is/was this crazy layer of fog over the DC metro area this morning and of course traffic was backed up for miles. I almost turned around and went home - but darn if I was gonna miss today's holiday party.

In other news, I spoke with one of my sisters-in-law this morning and she was telling me about a doctor-friend that invited her to his holiday party. I asked if he "has potential" since she is/was in the market for a husband, but she surprised me with her answer. She said that she has been thinking long and hard about it and she has decided that she only wants a "companion" as opposed to a husband. Someone that she could have fun with but not marry. And, apparently she is certain that she doesn't want to have children. In fact, she had a dream recently where she was pregnant and she woke up to a soaking pillow because she had been crying in her sleep b/c she didn't want kids. It's interesting because DH's family has oodles and oodles of kids. Maybe she's had enough :) Anyway, I just couldn't imagine my life without kids. I've always known that I wanted kids and being a mother is such a huge part of who I am. I often wonder about those women who just have no desire to be mothers. Not to be judgmental, but isn't that central to a woman's purpose? Anyhoo, I fully respect her choice and hope that she has no regrets. Any thoughts?

4 comments:

Justice Jones said...

I love the real pic! It was pretty foggy here as well. I had a great plan to leave bright and early to get the errands done before lunch but the fog was so thick, I decided to wait it out. After all, fog and my hair do not get along. Thirty minutes later, the doorbell rings and I forgot today was housekeeper Thursday so I was stuck in the house all morning with the kids all ready to go, diaper bag fully stocked and waiting in the car, etc. So much for getting ahead. Now both kids are down for their long naps so it looks like I'm getting nowhere fast. Today I was supposed to do the holiday cards (I'm actually doing pictures this year, stay tuned, hopefully before Christmas). Looks like it'll have to wait. Tomorrow is booked with other things but hopefully I'll be able to get it done. If not, it'll have to wait until Monday because I get nothing done on the weekends.

On your other comment, I can not imagine not ever wanting children or even a husband. It's one thing to not be able to have children and be accepting of the fact, but it's another thing to just say I don't want any. I remember having a conversation in college, junior year, with my girlfriends and we started talking about what we thought our best accomplishments in life would be and mine were to be a good wife and mother. I just feel like our purpose as women are to be joined with a man [in holy matrimony] and to reproduce at least one baby! Why else did God give us the rib of our man? Anyhow, not wanting to have children, or get married, is like saying you don't want to eat. It doesn't seem natural. I hope that's not harsh, or judgmental, but it's how I really feel.

Justice Ny said...

I recall that your s-i-l is a little bit older than you (maybe not so much me) and it's quite possible that her way of dealing with the fact that she doesn't yet have kids is to convince herself that she doesn't want kids.

I honestly believe that every woman has the desire to have children and that woman's communication of that desire depends on whether everything else in life is falling into the place that she wants. What better way to disguise the "shortfalls" in your life than to disregard them -- that way, if you act/believe that you've never wanted that particular thing (e.g. kids) then it can never be characterized by that woman or anyone else as a "shortfall".

On another note, it's strange that this issue has come up because when I read a previous blog about life's purpose, my answers automatically were about having a family and DD and what joy she and the process has brought to my life.

Anyway, Cpt. Havoc is waking up now, gotta run.

Justice Jones said...

I agree with J. Ny's observations on this issue. I find that women do this a lot.

Justice Fergie said...

good point. i think that theory may have some truth to it.

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