Saying "No"

Ever since I was a little girl, I've been a people pleaser. Whether it was my parents, my teachers, or my (gag) boyfriends, I've always tried to make everyone happy - even if it was to my detriment. It didn't help that I am also a classic overachiever and a Type A personality, which lent itself well to law school and the bar exam, and even motherhood, where I proudly sport the title of Alpha Mom. It's only been in recent months that I've realized that this "quality" of mine to do it all and do it well might actually be more of a curse than a blessing.

Continue reading "Saying 'No'" at DC Metro Moms Blog...

Just Call Me "Mrs. Fix-It"

You know George Clooney's character in Michael Clayton? He worked for a big, prestigious law firm as a "fixer," hired to handle difficult situations on behalf of the firm's clients. Well, it just dawned on me that I am my family's "fixer." Granted, I'm not covering up murders caused by toxic argochemicals, but if there's a scheduling conflict between soccer and a birthday party or if we need to find an afterhours clinic that accepts our particular health care insurance card while someone is puking their guts out on the living room carpet at 2am, leave it to mom to work it all out.

My realization came about 45 minutes ago when I solved the Crisis Of The Day involving locating a notary to witness our home re-finance documents (btw - call your mortgage company asap! rates are crazy low). Anyway, the issue really was scheduling. Hubby is at work all day, as am I - waaaay across town (in another state, in fact. Or district, as it were). The problem is that almost every single notary operates only during business hours and it was going to be a task for both of us to get to a notary before 5pm. Complicating matters is the fact that Hubby's car starter died yesterday and so we are down to one car. So. This morning he took my car (which the nanny usually uses to drop the girls to school), dropped Chatterbox to school, me to the subway and then he drove to work. We tried to do the notary before work, but the banks didn't open until 9am and I had an 11am meeting, blah, blah, blah.

To make a long (and boring) story short, I was in a meeting all morning and so Hubby was the one trying to resolve the notary situation. He must have called me nine times (actually, he really did call 9 times - I just counted on my caller ID) trying to come up with a plan. And his plans were giving me a headache. For example, he suggested we both take the subway in the middle of the day and meet up at an inconvenient and hard-to-find notary location and then both take the train back to work. Then he would take my car to pick up Chatterbox, drop her at home with the nanny, Giggles and L'il Buddy, and then drive back to work. I would then take the train to the stop close to home where he would then drive to to pick me up and then we would drive home. Huh??? Didn't you get a headache just reading that? And that was just one iteration of his plan.

So after call #9, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to stop the madness. First, I called Chatterbox's school and asked if she could please stay in aftercare today. No problem. Second, I googled notaries close to the subway stop near my house and called and confirmed that one would be there this afternoon. Done. Then, I called Hubby and said: "Ok, here is what we are going to do. We are going to meet at the subway stop close to home at 4pm. You will drive my car there and pick me up. We will go to the notary and take care of the docs. Then we will pick up Chatterbox and go home for the day. Ok?" "OK!!" he says enthusiastically. Sheesh.

Tune in tomorrow for another episode of "Mom Saves the Day: And It's Not Rocket Science!"

Yeah, it's Friday. So What?

It's Friday. And usually I am looking forward to the weekend to catch up on life (i.e. laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, errands, etc.), but today I just feel beat. The madness will begin today at 3:30pm when I will leave work early to go see Chatterbox and Giggles perform in the Black History Month program at their school. After that I'll need to swing by the grocery to pick up something to bring to Chatterbox's dance recital tomorrow morning (at 9am).

Saturday, after Chatterbox's recital, we'll head to Giggle's ballet class, and to return library books which are due tomorrow. If I'm we're lucky the girls will take a nap before it's time for our afternoon with Giggles' Godmother. We're going to see a children's show and then to dinner. Already as it is, I will be missing a meeting for my mother's group fundraiser tomorrow evening. But something had to give.

Sunday will be here in no time and we'll have the usual chaos that attends getting to and from church. Then we'll need to go to the party store to purchase party stuff for Giggle's school birthday party (on Thursday) and her home birthday party (on Saturday). I'll have to do that stuff this weekend since I don't have time to run errands during the week after work - especially since I drive to work anymore.

Throw in a(nother) run to the grocery to shop for the week and that'll be my weekend in a nutshell. Boy, I can't wait until Monday so that I can come to work and get some rest.

Hope your weekend is more relaxing than mine!

Day1: Single Mommy Boot Camp

To borrow the phrase from JJ at Mischief Makers, I am in Single Mommy Boot Camp this week as hubby is at a week-long conference in a LUXURY HOTEL in SAN FRANSCISCO. Poor soul. The week got off to a promising start. Yesterday hubby left in the morning and the girls got their hair braided. In the afternoon, my good friend came over to provide me with "backup" at the grocery store. I had planned to do my grocery shopping for the week on Saturday while Hubby was still home, but the day escaped me. The shopping trip went well thanks, in large part, to my friend who pushed Chatterbox and Giggles' around in their own shopping cart, took them to the inevitable trips to the potty, and fed them yummy store samples much to their delight. Couple that with the fact that L'il Buddy slept the entire time, and I was able to get everything on my least without breaking a sweat, raising my voice, or cursing under my breath. Hooray! My friend even came home, helped me unload and put away the groceries and set up the kids' dinner. Thank God for girlfriends!

Last night was a bit rough since L'il Buddy woke up his usual 4 times and I had no one to split the night shift with. And Giggles woke up around 5am wanting to sleep in my bed. The silver lining of my sleepless night is that I was able to wake up early (since I was technically already awake) and get the day started. By the time the nanny came, we were all ready to walk out the door and she dropped me to the metro before taking the girls to school. I even made it to work at a decent hour - woot! Now, let's see how the evening commute and dinner/nighttime routine goes.

I can say this: I only have to swing it by myself until Friday and I have the help of a nanny --single moms everywhere get mad props from me.

Painting the Town Red

I have no idea how it happened, but last week this mama went out on the town, sans kids, THREE times!! On Tuesday night, some friends and I went to Shecky's Girls Night Out for an evening of shopping, free cocktails, and a fly goodie bag. Can't beat that. It was really fun. It was nice to get dressed up and hang out with other women my age in a hip and relaxed atmosphere. Even though I could only manage one cocktail (because I'm a lightweight and because I'm nursing), it was a great outing. I even got myself a fabulous watch. When it was time to go, the rest of the gals went to a late night happy hour, but I headed home -- exhausted, but content.

On Friday hubby and I went out on a "date" to a trendy restaurant and then bar hopping! The meal was delish and we were both rejuvenated by hanging out downtown on a Friday evening, which is something we never do. It made us vow to resume our monthly date nights again. It was nice to dress up for each other - I had my hair done, wore stilettos, and everything. The only drag was rushing back home to make it in time for to relieve the babysitter. This is where overnights for the kids at Grandma's would come in handy.

Saturday night I went out with friends to see my all-time favorite artist, Mary J. Blige. By then I was feeling downright neglectful as a mom, but really and truly the kids were all pretty asleep each time I went out, but you know how the mommy guilt goes. The concert was great as usual (I've seen Mary at least 5 times before) and she looks better than ever. Robin Thicke was the opening act, and he was alright. I sung my heart out and enjoyed every minute of the show. I didn't get home until *gasp* after midnight, but hey, it's not like I sleep at night anyway. The baby makes sure of that.

I have to say that all of those outings made me feel like me again. I am officially out of the baby phase and it's time to steal some time for myself again. This Friday is Moms Night Out with my moms group. I almost want to skip it since I was out so much last week.

Almost.

Seeing Double

Two completely unrelated things:

(1) I found out why the nanny needed to take yesterday off - she was interviewing for a part-time nanny position that she will likely accept. The catch? It's from 6pm to 12am, 4 days a week! I immediately felt horrible. As a WOHM, I am completely sensitive to the how moms feel when they are forced to sacrifice quality time with their kids in order to pay the bills. She must feel terrible to have to miss the evenings with her 12-year-old daughter. And her daughter must be upset too. Not mention that her days will be exhausting. How I wish we could pay her more so that she wouldn't need to work a double shift.

(2) Speaking of double, I swear that when I looked in the mirror today I saw a DOUBLE CHIN. I almost fainted. I just asked my co-worker and she says I'm seeing things and that I'm wearing the pregnancy very well, but she's clearly lying to be nice. I. Saw. It.

Ugh.

Da Weekend

But first: Happy St. Paddy's Day!

It was just another ordinary weekend for the Fergies. So naturally this meant a lot of running around, errands and the requisite birthday party to attend...

Friday I left work early to run home and tidy up/stage the house for the first of three Realtors that was coming over to give us a valuation to help us determine what price we should list our house at. The appointment was for 6:30pm, and of course he was early and rang the doorbell at 6:15pm, and, you know, in a house with two toddlers, the extra 15 minutes of cleanup time is crucial. But the Realtor was a good sport and ignored the enormous slide in the living room, assorted WonderPets paraphenalia strewn across the hallway and assortment of ladybug rainboots in the entryway. After a thorough 45-minute presentation, he toured our house and gave the sad news: we have put in so many upgrades into our house that it does not compare with other comps in the neighborhood. For example, the two other rambler-style homes that are currently on the market in our subdivision are substantially dated inside and therefore are listed for at least $100k less that what our house should list for. The bottom line? Our house is too nice to sell in this market, in our neighborhood, unless we give it away. How crazy is that? That was something we were totally not anticipating. Here we were working away to upgrade and make sure that our house was "designed to sell" and as it turns out, we designed it not to sell. Go figure. So we are very bummed. But, I will say that the whole thing has made me feel better about the house generally. Am I boring you yet? Not yet? Well then, let me move on to Saturday.

Saturday was all about distracting Chatterbox and Giggles for the better part of the morning since all they could think about about was THE BIRTHDAY PARTY! AT CHUCKECHEESES!! That was starting at noon. I had to show Chatterbox the digital clock (it was 8:00am) and tell her that when she saw the "12:00" it would be time for the party. So we played Diego Dominoes, listened to a few TJ Bearytales stories, colored the birthday's boy's card and watched a couple of episodes of Franklin before it was FINALLY! time to get dressed. And off to the cave-o'- germs we went. The girls had fun and the host mom was very nice to allow Giggles to join in the fun even though she technically wasn't invited. The cake cutting couldn't have come fast enough for me though. And the girls either, apparently. I kid you not - even Giggles said she wanted to go home and Chatterbox was covering her hears because "it's TOO LOUD in here, Mommy!" I couldn't have agreed more. The place is awful I tell ya.

Next stop was to a playdate at a fellow Mocha's home. It was just what the doctor ordered. A chance for the mommies to relax and catchup and for the kids to play outside in the gorgeous weather. It was was lovely. The girls had a blast and had to be bribed to get into the car to go home. On the way back home, we passed a beautiful new development that was calling my name (can you tell I'm just itching to move somewhere??) And so we pulled into the driveway of our house, picked up Hubby who had just gotten back from football, and went back to check out the model home. Which was fabulous. Then we stopped to the local bakery for cookies and finally made it home. We were all beat, but all in all it was a fun day.

Sunday we jumped out of bed and went to IHOP. The place was beyond packed and we abandoned that plan fairly quickly and headed to a family-owned restaurant for a country-style breakfast. There was no wait and the food was delicious. The only mishap was that they only had booster seats - no highchairs - and the regular chairs didn't have arms. So poor Giggles managed to fall off of the chair, not once, but TWICE. She was quite fine though and ate all of her french toast and bacon. Then we drove to Hubby's second favorite store to look for a special football referee whistle or something or other. We ended up having to pull over and call OnStar because, well you know, Hubby was driving and was a smidge lost. This caused Chatterbox to say repeatedly throughout the rest of the day: "Daddy has to call OnStar AGAIN!??" Which of course made me laugh over and over again. Anyway, we all came home and the girls took naps and Hubby and I were able to rest. Then, an elder from my church came over and brought us dinner! She had heard that I was having trouble getting around because of the pelvic pain associated with my pregnancy and wanted to do something for us. I was so touched by the gesture. Later that evening we took or mandatory trip to Target for various odds and ends, where I am pleased to say I also accomplished about 90% of our grocery shopping for the week. Oh along with 2 adorable Easter dresses for the gals. Gotta love that place.

So we had another full weekend. Needless to say, I can barely walk today and, in fact, the secretary was mocking me as I limped in to the office this morning.

She'll get hers.

;)

Today: In Chatterbox's School Cubby...

It's pizza for the whole school mind you. And here I only sent a few boxes of graham crackers for the class when it was Chatterbox's turn.

Showoffs.

Birthday Party 911

Ah, it's that time of year again.

Only this time, things are a bit different since Chatterbox has actually started going to school. Last week she got her first birthday party invitation from a classmate. She is so excited. It's going to be at everybody's favorite germfest, Chuck E. Cheese next weekend. I'll spare you the details of how fun it is telling her that the party is not for another TWO WEEKS and no, she cannot go to the party today, everyday when she runs into the kitchen to look at the invitation on the fridge. Here's my question - it's the very first party that she's been invited to that Giggles has not - can I bring Giggles along to the party too?

Hubby will have his football games that day and so she won't be able to stay home with him, not to mention that she and Chatterbox are rarely separated and if Chatterbox is running around singing about how she is going to "CHUCKYCHEESES!" that is not going to go over very well. At the same time, I know there is birthday party etiquette to be followed and don't want to show up at the party with an uninvited child. What to do? What to do? I could call the mom up and ask her, but that might be a bit tacky. And what is she going to say? "No, you can't bring your other daughter?" It would put her in an awkward position. Then again, what if that is exactly what she says - am I going to not go to the party and deprive Chatterbox of the fun she's been anticipating for weeks?

Oh the drama of it all.

---------------------------------------------------------

On another birthday party note, Giggles turns 2 this week! And her birthday party theme of choice is the Wonder Pets (who I adore). Easy enough, right? WRONG. Nick Jr. doesn't license the Wonder Pets characters so, unlike Dora or Elmo, if you go into a party store you will find nary a plate, balloon or napkin with Linny, Tuck or Ming-Ming on it. So Mommy's been getting creative...let's just say, thank goodness for eBay. But if you're little one is set on a WP party, try to steer them in the direction of The Backyardigans or something and save yourself the trouble.

Oh the drama of it all.

Work/life balance - maybe this month?

Just in case I forgot to tell you - I got a new job. Yeah me!!!!! I was /am really happy because not only was it a new job, but also a promotion. Well of course, needless to say there was a crazy learning curve. And along with the pressures of a new job, a manic boss, and my slightly-A-type personality and need to do a fantastic job, it's been very hectic around these parts. I have not had a moment to really breathe since starting the job. So, the fact that we are celebrating/recognizing National Work & Family Month, comes at just the right time.

I have not had the best time balancing work and life recently, but I have discovered a few tips that are starting to make it a little better.

1. Bring a little work home - I know that most people say that this is a no-no. And I'm pretty sure that the experts will advise you to stay clear of this. But, this has bought me an extra hour with my family every day. Rather than staying at work to wrap up loose ends, read that last report, or send those last couple of emails, I've started bringing these things home with me and doing them after DD goes to bed at 8:30. Even if I work for an extra hour after she goes to bed, it's not as bad as staying at work for that extra hour and only seeing my DD for a little over one hour a day.

2. Use every minute of the work day wisely - I typically work from the time I get into the office to the time I leave. This is quite horrible and also probably ill-advised. But, I work a pretty hectic and demanding job that really requires about 11-12 hours per day. Because I don't want to put in those kinds of hours, I only work while I'm at work -- Very rarely do I check email, surf the net or talk on the phone. I've found that this approach allows me to put in an 8-9 hour day and get out and get home. The alternative approach is to work a strict 8 hour day and then come in for a few hours on the weekend. That sometimes works depending on the week; but I much prefer have my weekends to myself.
That brings me to my next tip...

3. The weekends are for you and your family - My weekends have been focused on spending time with DD and DH. We typically have breakfast together both Saturday and Sunday and then we hang out together for the rest of the weekend. Some days I take DD and the both of us just do our thing (well mainly, my thing). Other times, we hang out as a family and try to give everyone a little time to do what they like. The down side to this approach is that there is little time (really no time) for friends and family. And also very little time for yourself ... if you've got an idea about how to solve this, please share.

4. Use technology as much as possible - Strange tip coming from me considering that I only just got a cell phone a couple months ago (and guess what - I still don't use it - but I digressed). Back to the point, order online as much as possible. You can order and have almost anything shipped to you; and the things that you must pick up, check to see if you can cut the wait time by placing an advanced order. A cell phone (if used correctly) can allo you an extra few minutes on your ride home in the evening to chat with friends and family. Email/IM family and friends as well. I've started emailing my mom rather than waiting until the weekend for a half and hour phone call - who's got the time - so now we email during the week about everything.

5. Carpool with your husband, if possible - We're a two car family, but my car has been in the shop since last Monday, so we've been forced to carpool. Although it is tres inconvenient and I'm on the bus as a result, DH and I have had an extra fifteen minutes to connect. My tune may change next week after we try to kill each other because we've had too much of each other...I'll keep you posted!

Anyway folks...these few tips have been helpful to my over the past few weeks. Try one, try them all......let us know how it's working out for you.

All This And Halloween Too

"...it is the sense of the Senate that...reducing the conflict between work and family life should be a national priority."

Thanks to the passing of U.S. Senate Resolution 210 in 2003, October was officially declared National Work & Family Month. It's nice to know that the powers that be are realizing the importance of balancing the workplace with the home. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised to know that my workplace was celebrating the month with a series of weekly lunch programs, including: Managing Work & Life; Strategies for Healthy Meal Planning; Stress Management; and Wills, Trusts & Estate Planning. I went to the first program on Managing Work & Life and in addition to participating in a useful discussion about assessing priorities and managing time, came away with a few ideas to add some balance to my days.

One of the exercises we did during that program was make a list of all the roles that you play (i.e. parent, employee, spouse, coach, volunteer, homeowner, etc.) and then list what is important to you about that role; whether you are satisfied with the role; and what you could do differently to achieve balance. At the end, we had to brainstorm strategies that we could incorporate into our daily and weekly routines to achieve more balance in our lives.

Some simple ideas that I plan to incorporate:

Family Breakfast Day. It's pathetic, but we never eat breakfast together. Hubby leaves the house at 7am so that's generally out of the question. But I would like us to all sit down for at least 15 minutes in the morning - I think that would be nice for all involved. Giggles would get to have some time with us before everyone flies out of the door for the day, leaving her with the nanny; and hubby and I would get some time with the kids before going to work. It will mean getting up a bit earlier (or being late!) one day or the week, but I think we could get used to it.

Small Project Calendar. I have a zillion things that I "plan on getting to" one day. Organizing my recipe book. Sending digital photos to be developed. Re-potting my plants. Framing my wedding photos. Clearing out the cabinets under the girls' bathroom sink. And so on. I figure if I schedule to tackle one of those projects every couple of weeks, I might have better luck. Neglecting the small projects like these are what makes me feel like I am not in control of my household and not satisfied with my role as a homemaker.

Some other tips:

Use your lunch break. If you work outside the home, running an errand or two on your lunch break is a great idea. It's also good to just take 30 minutes to relax, read a book or take a walk.

Program your neighbor's phone numbers in your phone. I used to have this but didn't put it back in when I got a new phone. It's funny how many times I say to myself "Darn it! I wish I had Caroline's number with me." Especially when we were out of town last week, etc. Neighbors can pick up your mail, keep an eye out for a delivery, find the house keys that fell out of your purse onto the driveway. Whatever.

Exercise and Sleep. Sigh. Yeah, yeah, we know.

Shop online. Saves time, energy and sometimes money. Now that I can do!

Happy National Work & Family Month!

Oh and check out Mommy Track'd - it's the perfect website for moms managing work and life.

So Much for Anonymity...

This past Tuesday marked the launch of the DC Metro Moms Blog! It's a group blog, made up of about 2 dozen or so moms writing about their lives as parents in the D.C. Metropolitan Area. The blog is a spin-off of the ridiculously popular Silicon Valley Moms Blog that you've almost certainly seen, heard or read about on or in some trendy website or magazine.

Ok, are you sitting down?

Guess who is one of the DC Metro Moms bloggers? Yep, yours truly. It's such an exciting opportunity. We'll be a first point of contact for press and media on topics that are important to us mommy bloggers. In fact, since the blog's launch only four days ago, there have already been several media mentions of the blog or its contributors in major mainstream press like ABC News and the Washington Post. So check us out. It really is an impressive group.

You can read my very first post here. It's an expansion on my previous post about this week. Oh yeah...and you'll get to find out my real name.

'Cuz I know that you're just dying to know.

The Art of Scheduling

Tracey over at More Than a Minivan Mom wrote this post on Monday. It was so funny that I just had to post here for y'all to read. If you want to read it over at Tracey's, click here.


Monday, August 27, 2007

Negotiations

(after reading the e-mail from Sam's soccer coach. Did I mention that Sam is doing soccer?)

Me: "Can you leave work on Thursdays in time to get Sam to soccer practice at 5:30pm?"

Rich: (looking at me like I'm speaking Cantonese) "Soccer practice? At 5:30? You realize that I would have to leave work by 4:30 to do that?"

Me: "Well, I'm in Temple for clinical on Thursdays. How am I supposed to get back from Temple in time to get him to practice for 5:30?" (for those of you non-Texans, Temple is 50 miles north of me)

Rich: "But I already have to leave work early every Monday night because you have class until 8:30. How am I supposed to leave work early two nights a week?"

Me: "I don't know. How is Sam going to get to soccer? I guess I can see if I can leave my internship by 4:30pm, which means he would only be 10 minutes late or so"

pause

Me: "Okay, so just so you know, Sam has his soccer game every Saturday morning. Lucy and Bailey also have their swim lessons every Saturday morning"

Rich: "Okay"

Me: "But Bailey's karate class doesn't start until 6:45pm because he's an orange belt now. So what if we did karate class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I can leave for karate with Bailey when you get to the soccer field after work on Thursdays"

Rich: "Okay"

Me: "Oh, and we really need to start going to church again to counteract all this Jesus freak stuff. The opening day is this Sunday. I'll go and sign them up for RE classes"

Rich: "Okay"

Me: "Okay, so that's class for me on Monday nights and you need to get the kids, Bailey's karate class on Tuesdays, soccer and karate on Thursdays, and swim and soccer on Saturdays"

Rich: "Right"

Me: "Except for September 15th because we'll be in Dallas"

Rich: "Right"

Me: "Oh, and September 8th is Sam's first soccer game so they're taking team pictures. And we're also having Sam's birthday party that day"

Rich: "Right"(pause)

Me: "See, this is why I'm going to graduate school. So I can get a part time job after I graduate so that I can manage all of this"

Rich: "Right".

Posted by Tracey Robinson

Guilt-Ridden

Consider this Working Mom Against Guilt Monday...

(1) Tela at WMAG wrote an interesting post on the following topic that is worth reading.

Did you hear about the New York City's public hospital system announcement that it will no longer supply new mothers with free formula samples in the gift bags it gives moms to take home with them?

"Instead, the new mothers will each be given a breast-milk bottle cooler, disposable nursing pads, breastfeeding tips and a baby T-shirt with the slogan “I Eat at Mom’s” emblazoned on the front. Breastfeeding coaches will accompany the mothers at bedside “to help initiate breastfeeding within one hour of delivery.” The hospital agency will also give out free breast pumps and make available hospital-grade electric breast pumps to mothers whose newborns have to remain in the hospital." Read the NY Times article here.

I think it's brillant. And long overdue.

(2) In her latest post, Susan at WMAG asks what have you compromised since you became a working mother? And what do you refuse to compromise?

What thought-provoking questions. Something of rare occurrence around here.

I think that I've definitely compromised "me" time. But then hasn't every mom? Whether a WOHM or not? My weekdays consist of getting up, getting dressed, getting the girls up and their milk, commuting in traffic, spending the day at work, commuting in traffic, making dinner, cleaning up, bathing the girls and putting them to bed. My "me" time consists of the hour between 9pm and 10pm when I get to watch one of my trash tv shows and/or check my personal email. On the weekends my days consist of spending every possible moment having quality time with the girls, running errands that I didn't have time for during the week, and cleaning the house. Once a month, though, I try to attend my Moms Night Out so that I can at least socialize with my peers for a few hours every few weeks. But whereas I used to always have my hair done, my nails done, wear fashionable clothing and read magazines, I have time for none of those things anymore. In fact, I had to take the day off of work yesterday just to run errands and get my hair done (yes, desperate measures. but it hasn't been done in a really long time).

And compromising "me" time means that I've also compromised "us" time with my hubby. We used to be avid movie buffs and I can't tell you the last time we saw a movie. Actually, yes I can. It was "Daddy's Little Girls" back in February, when we both left work early to catch a movie. We also love entertaining and what with naptimes, bedtimes, and a lack of babysitting options, our BBQs and cocktail parties have come to a screeching halt. Lastly, we love traveling too. Suffice it to say that we have been on one vacation by ourselves since 2004.

Of course there are other small compromises, like personal space, sleeping-in, extra cash to spend on frivolities, time to read (adult) books, getting to work early so that I can be home early, etc., but I would say that the biggest compromise is the "me" time.

So what do I refuse to compromise? Honestly, I've been sitting here racking my brain for something but I can't think of anything at the moment. Could it be that I've compromised almost everything?

And here is where I'll insert the line about how these compromises are a small price to pay for having these two precious little beings in my life.

Because I am a working mother combatting guilt, after all.

Quite Possibly the Only Time You'll Hear Me Mention Yard Sale and Thrift Store Shopping. In One Weekend. Not That There's Anything Wrong With That.

Speaking of being tired...I just have to tell you all about our jam-packed weekend. It all started on Friday when my sister came into town to help us out until we found a replacement for our nanny (that story's for another day and another post). Bless her heart. And then we interviewed two more nannies that evening - trust me, that alone was enough to exhaust the most rested person alive.

Saturday the girls were up at the crack of dawn as usual (what is up with that? don't kids sleep-in on Saturdays anymore? Or is not sleeping-in another side effect of global warming? Please explain.) And so my marathon began. On weekend mornings, it's all about me getting the kids out of the house. Otherwise, they tear everything up, get cabin fever and by 11am, all three of us are bat crazy and that's never good. Our first stop was to Hubby's football game to drop off the chair that he forgot at home and desperately needed. What happened to sitting on the grass? Aren't you all supposed to be big, tough, manly men? Anyhoo, we obliged and brought him his Eddie Bauer Sports Chair with matching carrying case. Very masculine indeed.

Then we were off to a yard sale that a friend of mine was having to raise money for our church. I made sure to only bring $20 with me because, well I love a good sale - used goods or not - but really, we don't need one more piece of junk in our house, whether it's for a good cause or not. And good thing I did do that because we left the sale with only $3 to spare. But, in addition to a few children's books and a craft set, I did get these two cute (brand new!) dresses for Chatterbox and Giggles for a total of $8. See Exhibits A & B:

Where to next? Without a plan, I headed towards where any normal, intelligent, self-respecting mother of young children would go: Target. But before we arrived at our old entertainment stand-by (Cartoons! Playing in the electronics section! Toys! And more toys! A full selection of Swiffer Cleaning products! and even Frozen Foods!) my sister and I had the fantastic idea of heading to the pool. It was on. We were women on a mission. I drove home, ran in the house - because unloading the two kids, getting them in the house, getting them back outside and bucked into the car? that would have taken eons - gathered everyone's swimsuits, towels and SPF 8000 for this crazy sun we've been experiencing. The pool was FANTASTIC. We've lived up the street from the swim center for the past 4 years but have never actually gone swimming there. And now I see what we've been missing out on all this time! (And what Big Mama's been talking about all summer) There was a zero-entry pool, a pool with a water mushroom, a tot pool, a huge waterslide and a lazy river for tubing. Basically, a heavily-chlorinated version of heaven. We swam and splashed until we couldn't splash no more and headed home for a bath and a nap.

Meanwhile, while the kids slept, I ran to a meeting and came back home making a bee-line for my bed because I was beat from the sun and needed a nap like anybody's business. And about 13 minutes into my nap, the phone rings and it's the person I met with telling me that I left my purse at her place. WTF? How the heck did I leave, drive all the way home and not notice that I didn't have my purse? I'm losing it people. Don't say I didn't warn you. So anyway, I go and get my purse, stop by the thrift store near my house (another story for another post) so that my sister could see it, and go back home. For about 20 mintues. During which I threw some pajamas and a toothbrush in a bag and then headed to...a slumber party! For grown folks that is. A friend from my mommy group had a few of us over to have some girl time and it was great.

But first, I stopped at the store to pick up some slumber party snacks: Twizzlers, Cool Ranch Doritos, Strawberries and Dipping Chocolate, and...Wine (grown folks, remember?). And so I get to the cash register and of course I have to show my ID to purchase the wine. I open my wallet and the slot where I usually keep my license is empty. Naturally. Again, WTF? Ah yes. I took it out at the pool to show proof of residency for the county discount. And then carelessly threw it in my pool bag so that I could stop Chatterbox from throwing herself into the pool fully-clothed. In any case - no ID = no wine. Now that I was halfway between home and my friend's house, I could have (should have) turned around to go get my license, right? You know, the whole "driving without a license" law violation thing and all. But my girls' night out was starting in 10 minutes and I wasn't about to be late! So onward I forged. I arrived at my friends and life was good. The night went like this: Sangria, blah blah blah, Homemade Guacamole, blah blah blah, More Sangria, blah blah blah, 4-course dinner, blah blah blah, Still More Sangria, blah blah blah, and conversation and laughs that covered topics like whether or not we each thought our child was "weird" to in-laws that drive us crazy to hair weaves, and everything in between. This lasted until 3:45am at which time I passed out in a very comfy bed. Exactly 3 hours later, my loving husband called my cell phone to "remind me" that I needed to be home at 7:30am so that he could go to his football game. Insert curse words here.

I made it home by 7:40am, bloodshot eyes, (sans driver's license) and all. And of course the rugrats were wide awake and rearing to go. So without missing a beat, I made them scrambled eggs and toast, took them outside for fingerpainting, filled up the baby pool so I could trick them into washing the paint off of themselves they could splash around, gave them a bath, got them and myself dressed and again, we were off! We spent the morning at a great park where we rode a carousel and a train and the kids played on the playground while mommy tried to keep her eyes open. Then we met Hubby for lunch (where my meal sucked) and headed home. Finally. Everybody took a nice long nap and all was right in the world. Then I went grocery shopping for the week and watched the latest episode of Entourage (priorities people!) And so it was no surprise that when Monday morning came and it was time to go to work, I was still exhausted. But we had a blast over the weekend and really, who needs sleep anyway?

It's for the weak.