The Scary Fairy Deal

Chatterbox lost her first tooth last week! It was a big deal in our house. It was loose for a loooong time and she even asked Hubby to try to pull it out {before it was really ready} and that didn't go over so well! It eventually fell out on its own last Wednesday - when I wasn't home of course. I felt a slight pang in my chest when I got the text message from Hubby. My baby is getting older every day.

Most kids would be excited at the prospect of the tooth fairy coming. But not my Chatterbox. Much like her apprehension about Santa Claus - a big stranger sneaking into our house at night while we're sleeping - she was not too thrilled about the idea of a Tooth Fairy flying into her room at night and going underneath her pillow. So we struck a deal. She would put her tooth under my pillow and that way the Tooth Fairy could still make her pick up and drop off without stressing out Chatterbox. It worked like a charm. The Tooth Fairy didn't even wake me up last night. This morning Chatterbox ran into my room and dug under my pillow for her gift. It's so wonderful seeing the wonder in their eyes in these kinds of situations.

And then she proceeded to grill me about how the Tooth Fairy actually entered the house; where she took the teeth to; etc. What is it that they say? A lie begets a lie? Never was it truer than this morning :)

Here's a pic of her posing with her tooth fairy card from Grandma D. You can barely tell that she lost the tooth because her adult one is already almost fully in! We call that precocious, yes? The girl and the tooth.

Can I kiss your boo-boo please?

I had my very first "wait until you're a mom" moment this weekend. Princess, who's a little dainty at times, but rough and tough at other times fell at school on Friday. Unlike all her other falls, this time she got a big nasty open scar just below her elbow.

Of course, no one says anything to me when I got home, but as she's playing I notice this really dark spot on her arm. I was thinking it was paint or something so I call her and ask her about the mark and then she shows me - my heart sank, my eyes welled up and I got this really empty sinking feeling in my stomach. OMG, I hold her ... then I ask a litany of questions? Are you okay? Did you cry? Did it hurt? Does it hurt now? How did it happen? When? Where? Who did you tell? What can I do to make it better? Is there anything? Can I kiss it better for you?

She was totally fine and handling it like a big girl, but I was so terribly scared, worried, sad and hurt. My mind was racing at million miles per hour. I just couldn't explain what I was feeling. I think I was confused but I am not really sure. Every time she showed me or I saw the scar, I went through the entire emotional roller coaster again.

I never thought I would ever feel anything like this; you know truly feeling pain for another being - it kind of caught me by surprise and all I could think of was my mother telling me that there are so many things that she still worries about when it comes to my brother and me and it will NEVER stop. I guess I've had my first experience of those things that only a mama could experience.

Treasure time

You may remember that I was laid off in February and then about 1 month ago I accepted a position at my old, old job and I've just been waiting on a start date. Well, I will be starting on Monday. I'm excited to start and I know hubby is excited too although he won't actually say it.

So....why do I feel like this? I feel sooooo blue. I am excited to get back out there and make some money, but I am so afraid that I will just get right back into the flow of things and I'm even more afraid that I'm going to lose what I just found.

You see, for various reasons I don't think I've ever really been a good wife nor a good mother (see this post). I don't think I ever really embraced either role very well and I know for sure that I've never quite been able to balance them simultaneously. When hubby and I first got married, I had about a month's gap in between jobs and I was adjusting to being married. You know...that transitional period where you're not quite sure what you're doing and you're moving from that me stage to the we stage. Then, three years later I spent a year at home when daughter was born and I loved it - being able to be here to nurture and love her and have the comfort of knowing that she was safe and well cared for. However, during that entire year, I wasn't really much of a wife.

For some reason when I got laid off a couple months things were just different with me. I think I've matured as a person and wanted to try to do better for my daughter and my husband and ultimately for myself. I actually felt a sense of accomplishment taking care of them - cooking, cleaning, laundry, school related activities, involvement with hubby's job etc. I have NEVER felt that way before. I also de-stressed and did a lot of reflection and dreaming during this time as well. Another first for me. I believe I can say that I've been happy - truly happy during this time.

I sit here on Thursday almost in tears because I am honestly afraid of what's going to unfold come Monday morning. I am fearful that I'm going to fall back in line and back into the rat race. I'm afraid that I'm going to be stressed out and not take care of us anymore. I'm afraid that I'm going to get wrapped up in my job and bring all that stuff home. I'm sad that I probably will not be able to provide hot meals when they come home in the afternoon, not be able to play pretend with daughter, not have a clean house everyday, not spend time at the playground on the weekend, not run all household errands during the week so that we can spend time together on the weekend.

I am sad that I'm not going to have time any more. Maybe that was the treasure that I discovered during this period - I discovered the beauty and endless possibilities that come with time. I hope that my fears are just fears and that I don't become overwhelmed by this feeling.

I'm Fed Up with Consignment Shops- Updated

I'm annoyed with children's consignment shops. Especially those that market themselves as "boutiques" or specializing in "upscale children's clothing." This is the third time that I spent an afternoon carefully selecting clothes from my children's closets that I could consign or sell and while doing so, making sure that the clothes I did pick were in "perfect" condition and "upscale." Then, after carefully selecting my clothes and dropping them off "on hangers and wrinkle free," I get a call from the store asking me to pick up my clothes ASAP because they need to clear their floor space.

And when I finally do get there, I learn that the store didn't' select the nicer name brand clothes that looked brand new (because we wore them only on special occaisions) like Ralph Lauren, Heartstrings, or anything like that. But that they selected four dresses (brand new but from Target, nonetheless) and some older stuff that I threw in the bag at the last minute, not on hangers or wrinkle free.

The store offered me $10.80 in store credit for the new dresses and $3.10 for the old stuff. I declined the $10.80 for the four dresses, thinking I would much rather give those dresses to a friend or cousin, (something I should have done in the first place since I would have felt much more happy about it), and perused the store for something I could put my $3.10 store credit towards. I couldn't find a single thing that didn't look old or worn-out in either of my three children's sizes. This just made me even more annoyed.

Of course I understand that they need to make a profit off of me but don't market yourself as a high-end consignment shop only to sell Circo and Wal-Mart brand clothes for the same prices I could get them at Target or Wal-Mart. Both store have those cute little mix and match short sets for 2.00- $4.00 a piece.

So I bought a dress for Daughter, Target brand, for $ 4.99 plus tax. The dress looks like a hand me down.

Updated: When I showed Daughter her dress and asked her if she liked it, her response was "Ummmmmmm, no not really." Go figure!!!

Hmmph!

Play date - why? what?

We're about to have our first play-date with a classmate from school. You ask how we've managed to avoid this - I really don't know. But, it feels so completely different than when my girlfriends visit. I don't even know the parent involved (Hubby set it up) and I feel like it's a big test. What will we talk about? Will we even have anything in common? How are we supposed to entertain the parent while the kids play? Do we drink? Do we watch tv? What!?!?!?!?!?!? I'll update you when it's all said and done.

Update - It wasn't as bad as I thought. We talked about the kids and what was going on with each in terms of milestones etc. We (more the other mom) basically followed the kids around the entire time. We did drink however - we both had a glass of wine. But, I really thought a play date would be good in terms of getting daughter out of our hair for a little while because she and her friend would play with each other. Instead it was like having a play date for us because both hubby and I were forced to entertain playdate's mom the entire time. She was pleasant and conversation was easy - but, really, I just hadn't expected that. I guess it's one thing if it's your friend but when its the first time meeting someone and you're forced to find stuff to talk about for 2 - 3 hours...that's another story.

Taking the Plunge

Ok, I've been stalling...but since I have run out of reasons to keep stalling, it's time for me to let the world know that I've started a new blog! It's called Just Fergie, and is aptly named because, well, it's just me. I'm still very much blogging at MamaLaw so nothing's changed on that front - I just have a little corner of the web all to myself over at there. Call it my vacation home. Only without a beach or plantation shutters. So consider yourself invited! I hope you'll come and visit me every now and then.


Oh, and here's the code for my button in case you want to help me spread the word:

<center> <a href="http://www.justfergie.com/"> <img src="http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r208/jennisajoy/BLOG%20DESIGN/ONCEUPONABLOG/justfergiebuttoncopy.png" /> </a></center>

Bring it back

I went to the Victoria's Secret semi annual sale as I usually do to stock up on underwear etc. I bought for the first time thigh high panty-hose - not the ones that you wear with a garter, the other ones. Anyway, I figured that I would start bringing sexy back by dressing a little more on the daring side on a regular basis. I know folks who wear these under-garments on a reg and figured so could I - I mean, why not, I'm grown! Anyway, I put them on and left for work; as I'm walking down the front stairs of my house, I fell the left one slipping a little. I don't give it much thought. As I get to work and walking up the stairs, I feel that left one slipping some more. I walk down the hall....guess what, it's at my knees. All I could do is laugh at myself - nothing more. I didn't feel embarrassed at all. In fact, I just didn't care much. I thought - oh well, not quite ready to bring sexy back - maybe I've got to start a little smaller first and make my way to sexy. I'll let you know how that goes.

Delicious Indulgence? Or Cause for Indigestion?

How'd ya like this in your Christmas stocking?

Yes, We Did

My heart is full right now. Family from Canada keep calling and asking me how I feel, but I really can't verbalize it. Late last night, looking down at L'il Buddy and realizing that my kids will see this man as their president and not think anything of it, was almost overwhelming. Last night was a historic night and a proud night, for sure.

The First Day

We made it through the first week of school! Both Chatterbox and Giggles started on Tuesday. It's a new school for Chatterbox and Giggles' very first school. I like it because the classes are very small (there's only 4 kids in Giggles' class and 6 in Chatterbox's) and it's very focused on the spiritual and academic growth of each child. Chatterbox has had no problems adjusting, but it's my baby girl that I'm worried about! She's cried every morning when I dropped them off and it's breaking my heart! I know it's only the first week and the separation anxiety is to be expected, but I'm wondering if it's too early for her to be going to school? I'm going to give it at least another week, but if she is miserable, then I'll pull her out and she can stay home. The comforting thing is that when I pick her up at the end of the day, she is totally fine and excited to show me all of the things she did at school. So hopefully she'll adjust to the morning goodbye.
My babies are all grown up!

My Poor Baby!

So yesterday we all went to Delaware for the day since Hubby had a meeting to attend. Things were going swimmingly with me toting all three kids around a new city: we went to the Zoo; made bead necklaces in the park; ate lunch; checked out a toy store, and then...on the way out of the Mall, Giggles slipped and fell and chipped.her.tooth!!!!

Of course she also cut her bottom lip a bit so she was beside herself crying and I was so shaken up when I realized that a piece of her tooth was missing. Anyway, I immediately called the pediatrician who said to call the dentist who said to come in first thing this morning. Giggles was fine after a few minutes, and we left to pick up Hubby from his meeting. And I was dreading having to say: "Hi honey! How did it go? We had a great day. With one little mishap..."

This morning we were at the pediatric dentist bright and early. Giggles was a little scared, but hung in there for an X-ray and mouth exam (all as a result of being bribed with Dora stickers). In the end, the dentist said there had been no permanent damage done and she was fine. The dentist advised against repairing the tooth for aesthetic purposes, because Giggles is so young and will be losing that tooth eventually. Also, she has a fierce thumb-sucking habit which would loosen any filling or cap and could be dangerous. So, my baby will have a chipped smile for the next few years!! I feel so bad, but it could be worse. I felt so guilty, but my mom assured me that there is nothing to feel bad about and that kids break limbs and injure themselves all the time and it's not anybody's fault, it's just being a kid. Intellectually, that makes perfect sense, but seeing her "new" smile...I still can't help feeling bad about it.

FYI: jelly sandals + shiny mall floor tile + active toddler = BAD NEWS!!

Well I'll Be.

We actually have tomatoes!

Happy Birthday Baby!

Baby is 1-week-old today! So I'm finally coming up for air. I'll keep it short, because, well you know, who has time to bathe when there's a newborn around, let alone blog.

I will spare you all the details of the horrendous delivery, but let it be known that "fast and furious" does not necessarily mean easy! This mama is still definitely in recovery phase, but looking at this adorable little face makes it all worth it.

Thanks for all the well wishes!

I'm going back to bed.

And the "Firsts" Just Keep Comin'

Chatterbox's first trip to the dentist...

She did great! She wasn't scared at all and was such a big girl. I just can't take it - she's growing up so fast! What's next? College graduation?