My 5-Year Old Needs a Secretary

Ok, so you warned me. Before Chatterbox started kindergarten, I was put on notice by all of you primary school aficionados that the paperwork and homework involved was no joke. I laughed. I scoffed. I did not take heed. Well. The joke's on me!

Let me introduce you to the Daily Folder. It's brightly colored and is adorned with a lovable little frog sporting the motto: "Fully Responsible Organized and Growing." But do not be fooled. This Daily Folder and me? We have a love-hate relationship. Each day Hubby or I have to initial the Behavior Chart and return it back to the teacher. Then, there's usually about 3 - 5 notices or forms that need reading and filling out.

And don't get me started on the items that require a payment.

Continue reading My 5-Year Old Needs a Secretary...

Self image issues at 3 years old? Updated

This morning daughter had a mini-meltdown because she couldn't wear a dress to school. Recently, more and more she has been asking to wear dresses and I realized that the other girls wear them almost every day. So, I'll let her wear a dress when the weather permits. This morning, however, the dress conversation took a completely different route because she insisted that she would not be a princess if she didn't wear a dress. THEN...she said that she wasn't beautiful because she wasn't a princess.

OMG....what am I supposed to do or tell her when I hear these comments. I tried to reassure her that she IS a princess regardless of what she wears and that she IS beautiful because beauty is not based on what you wear but the kind of person that you are. I'm not really sure whether my response made much sense to her because it may have been too high level. It shocked me that she made the dress issue a little deeper to what I would consider a self image issue. I am also amazed at the power of peer pressure of 3 year old girls!!! I cannot imagine what issues I'll be dealing with at 7 or 10 or 12 if self image is already an issue at 3.

Then I get to her class and without fail, I hear the discussion about who's in a dress and who isn't, so I could totally understand what she was going through. She wanted to go home with me. I felt/feel helpless and I don't know what to say to her to make her feel better. I guess the easy solution would be to let her wear a dress tomorrow, but there is so much more going on here.

Any suggestions and all suggestions are welcome??? I have about 4-5 hours to figure something out.

UPDATE - I let her wear a dress this morning. I'll work on the other issues a little bit at a time.

Preschool Dropout

So remember how Giggles has been going through a rough patch? For the past month or so, there has been a definite change in her behavior. She stopped wanting to go to ballet class, so we didn't make her go anymore. Then she started having potty accidents, which she never did before. She potty-trained super early (i.e. 27 months) and never looked back. Until now. And then last month, she decided that she didn't want to go to school anymore. We let her stay home a day here and a day there, and once she was at school she was totally fine and had fun. But she increasingly became more and more adamant about wanting to stay home. So we let her.

I figure she's still so young (she just turned 3) and she gave preschool a try for a good 6 months. She was doing wonderfully (writing her name, counting numbers, etc.) but I don't want to push her. After all, some kids don't go to school until Kindergarten. Maybe it was too much for her too soon. And I strongly believe that you have to know your child's personality and nuture it. But the director of the school, while supportive of our decision to keep her home, thinks that we should make her go to school because sometimes "parents have to push their babies out of the nest and let them fly." And I agree with her to a point. But I figure there's plenty of time for Giggles to her head back in the "school game." For now, she's soooo happy at home - playing to her heart's content and going for walks and entertaining her little brother - that I feel like she is flying...at her own speed.

Popular

Uh oh. We've learned a new word in school. "Popular." Such a loaded word when it comes to being a girl in school, isn't it? I've been so busy dealing with the rudimentary needs of babies and toddlers (feeding; changing; dressing; bathing), that I never saw the complex social issues associated with school-age kids coming.

Chatterbox came home today saying how "so and so" was popular. And truth be told, "so and so" is popular since both my girls talk about her at length on a daily basis and scream her name like she's a rock star when they see her. But still, I wasn't ready to hear all that in the middle of making spaghetti. I asked her what that meant and who taught her the word and it seems that it was the topic at school today.

Then, during bathtime, Chatterbox proceeded to tell me that she would be popular too if she "did this" (and tossed her hair over her shoulder). Oh lawd. A Mean Girl in the making.

WTF?!

Chatterbox learned a new word at school yesterday. You guessed it - the "eff" word. I couldn't believe it! And she had to know it was bad because when I asked her to repeat it to me after Giggles tattled on her, she refused. I must have looked visibly panic-stricken because she insisted that she could not repeat it and wouldn't tell me where she heard it. I mean, I knew this would come one day, but so sooon??

What's next? Crystal meth in her backpack?

I know. NOT FUNNY.

The First Day

We made it through the first week of school! Both Chatterbox and Giggles started on Tuesday. It's a new school for Chatterbox and Giggles' very first school. I like it because the classes are very small (there's only 4 kids in Giggles' class and 6 in Chatterbox's) and it's very focused on the spiritual and academic growth of each child. Chatterbox has had no problems adjusting, but it's my baby girl that I'm worried about! She's cried every morning when I dropped them off and it's breaking my heart! I know it's only the first week and the separation anxiety is to be expected, but I'm wondering if it's too early for her to be going to school? I'm going to give it at least another week, but if she is miserable, then I'll pull her out and she can stay home. The comforting thing is that when I pick her up at the end of the day, she is totally fine and excited to show me all of the things she did at school. So hopefully she'll adjust to the morning goodbye.
My babies are all grown up!

This Sucks

"Unfortunately, the state of Florida will not be offering its usual sales tax free week during 2008. In the past, the sales tax holiday was voted upon in the state legislature, but the measure was not brought up for a vote this year. Should the state of Florida decide to offer a sales tax free week again in 2009, this site will be updated to include those dates."

I look forward to tax free week every year. My single friends enjoy the annual sale at Nordstrom's or things like that, but me, I look forward to the usual week in early August/late July where I can buy all the school uniforms, clothes, and school/office supplies tax free. The savings add up. I haven't heard anything about this year so after Googling it this morning this is what I find. Outrageous! First, I'm forced to decide between buying gas for my car or feeding my family and now this!! What do they mean, "the measure was not brought up for a vote this year"?? At least put it up for a vote and vote no. But to not even put it on the table is insulting. We need our tax breaks!! We need lower gas prices!! I don't want to worry about my 12 MPG vehicle when I'm picking kids up from school and I want to be able to buy fresh fruit and milk for my family without having to pay ridiculous prices for it! I can't wait until November because I am ready for a new administration. Change is coming people.

Okay, back to cleaning the kids rooms before they come back from their trip at the grandparents'. I'll have to update you guys on our summer trip later this week.

Teenage Angst. About 12 Years Too Soon.

Ok, so I expected to run into the drama and misery of my daughters' teenage years sooner or later...just not when she was 3 1/2 years old. Lately, Chatterbox is unhappy about, well, everything. I noticed that it began a week or so ago when she started insisting on wearing the same pair of jeans every.single.day. Also, I bought a brand new pair of adorable shoes and she absolutely refuses to wear them, but only wantes to put on her broken down old shoes from last fall. So getting dressed in the mornings became a battle. Then came Alexa.

Alexa is an older girl in Chatterbox's class that had "big ties" (meaning braids) in her hair. Oh and Alexa wears flip flops to school. Well, between those two fashion statements, Alexa has quickly become Chatterbox's fashion muse. She was upset (and I mean UPSET) everyday last week when I did her hair and it did not look like Alexa's. And she was further upset by the fact that I wouldn't let her wear flip flops to school. I mean, not only are they impractical for running on the playground, etc., but I believe that there is a time and place for flip flops and school isn't one of them. So on Friday I had the woman who braids their hair on occasion come over to see if we couldn't hook Chatterbox up with some "ties." She was excited and I was relieved. Only to find out that the braids the woman gave her were not "BIG!" "LIKE ALEXA'S!" And so we were back to the sour face. Then she kicked and screamed when we were getting ready to go to brunch for Mother's Day yesterday because she didn't want me to put any bows in her hair. Nor did she want to wear the outfit that I had picked out. And of course, she wanted to wear flip flops too, but aside from the fact that she would have looked nuts, it was cold and rainy and that wouldn't have made any sense. Really, it was so bad that my morning was almost ruined. Hubby had to have a talk with her to calm her down like only he can.

And don't get me started on the regular meltdowns we have in the kitchen over what she does and doesn't want to eat.

Just what on earth is going on with her? I spoke to my mom and a couple of friends about it and they all seem shocked that she is so opinionated and looks-conscious at such a young age. I'm going try spending some more one-on-one time with her and maybe talking to her teacher to make sure nothing out of the ordinary is going on at school. I'm hoping it's a (short) phase, because Lord only knows I can't be going through this for the next 12 years.

Maybe I can move in with Alexa.

Today: In Chatterbox's School Cubby...

It's pizza for the whole school mind you. And here I only sent a few boxes of graham crackers for the class when it was Chatterbox's turn.

Showoffs.

Our Latest Assignment

The homework assignments keep 'a comin' I tell you.

After having us create a poster board for Chatterbox's "Star of the Week" presentation week before last, and then tie-dye a square for her classroom's Black History Month quilt last week, you would think the school would lay off of the homeworks assignments for a little while, but alas Friday she came home with an unassuming blue tote bag filled with goodies...and instructions for Mom and Dad. This one was easy enough though. Each student takes turns bringing home the "Dino Book Bag" and has to read the story and take a photo with the person they normally read stories with, and, of course, the stuffed dinosaur. By the time I remembered the assignment we were all (yes, me too) in our pajamas and ready for bed. So, here was our end product:

Good thing for digital cameras and HP printer paper!

Never a Dull Moment...

Is there such a thing as blog neglect? If so, I am totally guilty. Things have been so hectic around these parts!

• Chatterbox has been having the worst case of nighttime indigestion. For the past week she has woken up out of her sleep complaining of stomach pains. And she's even vomited in our bed 3 times. Poor thing. We are wondering if she is developing an allergy of some sort. Maybe to her milk?
  


• Chatterbox is also going through something at school. She's had potty accidents twice in two weeks, which is totally unlike her. I have a sneaking suspicion that she doesn't really like the (grumpy) teacher's aide, so we are keeping an eye on that. We are considering asking to have her switch classes.
  


• After a friend's birthday dinner over the weekend the valet banged up my new car while parking it. SO annoying. They have agreed to repair it though.
  


• I am now a teacher in the children's ministry at my church. It's fun but of course is another thing added to my full plate.
  


• Friday hubby and I went out with some friends to dinner and a concert. It was a wonderful night out.
  


• Plans are finally in full swing for our move to the Atlanta area. So we are preparing to do a few renovations to the house to get it in prime selling condition.
  


• Last but not least, the holidays are here! Let the madness begin.

Time willing, I plan to be back in blogging mode next week.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Working Mama Drama

So this morning was Chatterbox's parent-teacher conference at her school. Let me me just preface this entire post by reminding you that she is THREE. So the idea of the conference was cute, but when it came down the weighing the logistics vs. the benefits, the whole thing seemed ridiculous this morning at 7am.

First, because of the conferences, the entire school is closed today. I mean, I get the fact that they want to devote a day to the cause, but I mean, couldn't they have the teacher's aides do activities with the kids today? Crafts? Games? Reading? Playground? Fortunately, we have a nanny and so having Chatterbox stay home today was no big deal. But I know some other parents had to take off of work to stay home with their child.

Then there was the issue of the appointment time. Her teacher had a sign-up sheet posted outside of the classroom where parents could sign up for their meeting time. Now because Chatterbox started the school year in the Sunshine Room and was moved up to the Primary Room a couple of weeks into school, by the time she got to her new class, the early morning slots for parent-teacher conferences were already taken. The earliest we were able to get was 9:30am.

Pretty much the most inconvenient time for a working parent because your entire morning is shot. And so you have to take sick leave for your morning. Setting aside the leave part of it, I am exceptionally busy at work this week and, as J. Ny mentioned in her last post, every minute of the day is precious. Losing any amount of time means staying late which presents a whole other set of issues.

So anyway, I arrive at 9:29am on the nose and am told that the teacher still has to take another parent ahead of me. No biggie. So I wait. And I wait. And I wait. And half an hour later, I am still waiting. The assistant tells me: "If you need to leave, you can go and you can just do the conference over the phone." Excusemewhat? A phone conference was an option? Nice of someone to mention that. Of course I would have preferred a face-to-face meeting, but seeing as how this week was going, and seeing as how I am at the school every day, a phone conference would not have been the end of the world.

And so I leave. Extremely p.o.'d that I have now wasted an entire morning. I drive my 45 minutes to the office and arrive to see a message waiting for me from the teacher saying that she's sorry that she missed me but that she looked outside her classroom and didn't see me, but that I should call her to do it over the phone. It's just a short conversation, she says, one where we set Chatterbox's goals for the year to make sure we are on the same page.

Well, I got news for ya Miss M. We are not on the same page. I'm on the page that had to break my neck to make this day work.

I think Chatterbox's expression in her classroom photo pretty much summarizes how I feel today:





Oh, and Miss M.? How about we make Goal #1 to re-take this photo?

For crying out loud.

Bullies In Our Backyards

Ok y'all, so I had to post something about this story. Something.

By now you’ve all heard about the incident that occurred at the University of Maryland a week ago. Apparently some students thought it would be funny (and/or intimidating) to hang a noose from a tree outside of the University’s Cultural Center. This hate crime no doubt stemmed from the tragic state of affairs currently playing out in Jena, Louisiana. And it’s really too outrageous and draining for me to summarize the Jena mess in this post, so if you haven’t already heard about it (which would be a shame in and of itself), please click here to find out more. Oh and while you're at it, don’t forget to read about the fliers that were distributed in Manassas,VA a couple of weeks ago... Are you nauseous yet?

Aside from my general disbelief that hate crimes are still being perpetrated in this day and age, I find that it even scarier for me, as a mother of two small children, to know that one day my kids are going to sent out into the world without me or my husband around to shield them from all of this madness. I mean, in the case of the Jena students – all they were doing was sticking up for themselves. Isn’t that what we teach our kids? To be confident and proud of who you are and to stand up for what you know is right? What if that was my child who decided that she wanted to sit where she wanted to sit at school without regard to her skin color, and with the permission of her teachers, and before she knew it, she was threatened, assaulted and eventually thrown in jail? I can’t even fathom it.

If you think about it, it’s really just a heightened form of bullying. My eldest daughter just started nursery school last week so thankfully we haven’t encountered the bullying issue just yet, but I’m sure some of you parents out there have. In fact, I know that the decision to homeschool for some parents comes, in part, from the fear of bullies at school. And bullying has become an epidemic in our country – just do a quick search on Google and you’ll find a jillion news stories, web sites and initiatives, like this one, on how to deal with it. I’m not sure what the answer is, but I do know that the problem won’t solve itself. There has to be a collective effort on the part of parents to educate their children on how to treat others; on the part of teachers to spot and discourage bullies in the classroom or on the playground; on the part of the school administration to develop zero-tolerance policies for bullying; and on the part of the justice system to do the same. And this effort needs to be applied across the board – from preschool to university to the workplace and beyond.

I’m just not sure what my part is as a parent raising young children – should I be teaching them to stand up for themselves…but not too much, for fear of retaliation? Should I teach them to just look the other way when they see someone else being bullied to avoid making trouble? What I am sure of is that we can't let this be the state of the world that we’re living in. We just can’t.

Because nobody likes a bully.

This entry is cross-posted on the DC Metro Moms Blog.

Can I Get a TGIF?

What a week!

It started off on Sunday with Chatterbox having a stomach virus which resulted in all types of bodily fluids spewing from both ends of the poor dear. YUM. By Monday she had recovered and we had a lovely Labor Day excitedly anticipating her FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!

Here she is in all of her nursery school uniform glory. Ain't she a doll? I took the day off so that I could spend some extra time dropping her off and picking her up. She loved school and never even shed a tear.

Wednesday I had a doctor's appointment in the morning so we were able to take our time getting out of the house. After that I stopped by mothers' group meeting (hey, I was already going in to work late anyway) and came in to work after lunch.

Yesterday the nanny was 15 minutes late getting to our house to watch Giggles, and so we were 15 minutes late too. Our morning routine needs to work like clockwork otherwise, I'll never make it all the way to work on time after driving 10 minutes in the opposite direction to take Chatterbox to school. I got to work about 30 minutes late. Not too bad. Nobody noticed.

Today, everybody overslept. I jumped out of bed at 6:58 am and frantically woke up hubby who normally has to be on the road by 7:00am. And Chatterbox and I are supposed to on the road by 7:15am. Things were not looking good. Of course the nanny came early. By 7:45am we were all ready to go but Giggles was feeling very cranky and so I picked her up to make her feel better.

And then she threw up. Twice.

It was only a matter of time I suppose. I cleaned her up, told the nanny I would come right back home and took Chatterbox to school. Where I was thrown for a loop because FRIDAY! IS PIZZA DAY AT SCHOOL! Didn't you get the note? Um, no. [Aren't I off to a great start of the school year?] So I scraped up $2.50 from various crevices of my purse and was on my way home. I called the pediatrician to schedule a "sick child" appointment. The earliest was 11:20am. Since I had been at work a grand total of 1.5 days this week, it was time to call in backup. Hubby agreed to take Giggles to the doctor and I could go in to work.

By the time I stopped off at home, returned Chatterbox's Non-Friday Lunch to the fridge, checked in on Giggles (who was sleeping) and got back on the road, it was 9:00am. Factor in the end of rush hour traffic, and I made it to the office by 10:00am. Which got me thinking.

WHAT. IS. THE. POINT?

Are You a Ghost Artist?

Whenever my five year old is sent home with an art project, I used to let him do it and provide assistance only when he asked for it. Well, it seems some moms (or dads maybe) do the project for their kids and turn it in. So of course, their project would blow my son's project away. Not that he really felt jealous or even inferior, but he would admire their projects. Heck, I would admire their projects. Why didn't I think of that? But then I remind myself, it wasn't my homework, or project, it's my child's piece of work and for a five year old, he did an excellent job. So I am always proud of him. It is hard to resist the urge to maybe fix that, or add that, or even tell him how to do it. Especially after I would notice the work of the other "children." But after I saw the product of the last assignment, I was annoyed.

In the spirit of the theme of the month, "Nn" and neighborhoods, the last assignment was to decorate an old cereal box and make it into a house. Hubby and Oldest had fun doing it. It was nothing fancy, but Oldest was really proud of what they did. I had a lot of suggestions but Hubby kept reminding me that it was Oldest's project and his ideas so step back and let them work. Still, I wanted it to be spectacular and my creative juices were flowing. I'm ashamed to admit that after they completed it, I did a few minor changes. BUT STILL, I did not change any part of the fundamental integrity of Oldest's design.

Well let me tell you. When I saw the other houses, they were architectural pieces of work. Magnificent homes, with wings. I swear these parents went to Home Depot to decorate these cereal boxes. Ours and maybe 2 others, really looked shabby next to what the other children brought it. So I'm looking at the homes and Oldest pointed his out to me and he was just so proud. And I was proud. He did a great job.

But my point is, why do these other parents do the work for their children? Even if the child was sitting there "participating," and I find it hard to believe that a 5 year old thought of the design and constructed this home, I think that it's important to have the children do the work. Not the parents.

So if you are one those parents that does the project, share with us why. I'm interested in seeing your perspective on this.